Thursday, January 31, 2008

Quote of the Day

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
-- Rod Serling

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Quote of the Day

He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection. I guess that's what I hated about him.
-- Jack Handey

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Quote of the Day

Risch's decision procedure for integration, not surprisingly, uses a recursion on the number and type of the extensions from the rational functions needed to represent the integrand. Although the algorithm follows and critically depends upon the appropriate structure of the input, as in the case of multivariate factorization, we cannot claim that the algorithm is a natural one. In fact, the creator of differential algebra, Ritt, committed suicide in the early 1950's, largely, it is claimed, because few paid attention to his work. Probably he would have received more attention had he obtained the algorithm as well.
-- Joel Moses, Algorithms and Complexity, ed. J.F. Traub

Monday, January 28, 2008

Quote of the Day

The Religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Quote of the Day

Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
-- Ian Faith

Friday, January 25, 2008

Quote of the Day

Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
-- Frank Zappa

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Quote of the Day

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
-- Joseph Heller

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Quote of the Day

I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.
-- Marcus Procius Cato

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Quote of the Day

A one sentence definition of mythology?
"Mythology" is what we call someone else's religion.

-- Joseph Campbell

Monday, January 21, 2008

Quote of the Day

Hey, wouldn't it be terrible if we ended up having to eat each other? Like those sailors did in that film, um..."We Ended Up Having To Eat Each Other."
-- Neil Pye

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Quote of the Day

You can't fool me. It's soy juice. There's no such thing as soy milk, because there's no such thing as a soy tit.
-- Lewis Black

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Quote of the Day

I wanted to go to college, so I went to my dad and said, "Dad, can I have a hundred thousand dollars to go to college?" And he said, "Go ask your mother", so I went to her and said "Can I have a hundred thousand to go to college?" And she said, "Ask you father", so I went to him and said "Can I have a hundred thousand?" And he said "Ask your mother." And as I was going to my mother I tripped and hit my head on the coffee table, and my mother said "Fifteen-love, my serve again."
-- Emo Philips

Week in Review

- Friday Random Ten: 2008-01-18
- Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me…
- Mike Huckabee: Radical Cleric
- Yahoo & Windows Live award Beneficiary
- Friday Random Ten: 2008-01-11
- State Senator John Loudon in an Idiot
- A Technical Summary of the Major Presidential Candidates̢۪ Web sites
- If Fred Thompson can run…
- Reading: _War at Sea: A Naval History of World War II_
- Friday Random Ten: 2008-01-04

Friday, January 18, 2008

Quote of the Day

You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
-- Jack Handey

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Quote of the Day

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.
-- Arab proverb

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Quote of the Day

Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.
-- Emo Philips

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Quote of the Day

I figured out what's wrong with life: it's other people.
-- Dilbert

Monday, January 14, 2008

Quote of the Day

In Vegas, everyone goes everywhere in limos. Las Vegas is just a giant prom night for adults who are very bad at math.
-- Penn Jillette

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Quote of the Day

The foundation of morality should not be made dependent on myth nor tied to any authority lest doubt about the myth or about the legitimacy of the authority imperil the foundation of sound judgment and action.
-- Albert Einstein

Friday, January 11, 2008

Quote of the Day

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Quote of the Day

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
-- Mark Twain

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Quote of the Day

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
-- Stephen Wright

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Quote of the Day

Go back to bed, America, your government has figured out how it all transpired, go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Here, here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up, go back to bed America, here is American Gladiators, here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go America - you are free to do what we tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!
-- Bill Hicks

Monday, January 07, 2008

Quote of the Day

We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys.
-- The Shoveler

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Quote of the Day

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Friday, January 04, 2008

Quote of the Day

It was the greatest night of my life. I'd been invited to the Captain's Table. I'd only been with the company fourteen years. Six officers and me! They called me "Arnold." We had gazpacho soup for starters. I didn't know gazpacho soup was meant to be served cold. I called over the chef and I told him to take it away and bring it back hot. He did. The looks on their faces still haunt me today! I thought they were laughing at the chef, when all the time, they were laughing at me as I ate my piping hot gazpacho soup. I never ate at the Captain's Table again. That was the end of my career.
-- Arnold Judas Rimmer

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Quote of the Day

My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights -- or very early mornings -- when I left the Fillmore half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed the big 650 Lightning across the Bay Bridge at a hundred miles an hour ... booming through the Treasure Island tunnel at the lights of Oakland and Berkeley and Richmond, not quite sure which turnoff to take when I got to the other end ... but being absolutely certain that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were just as high and wild as I was: no doubt at all about that.
-- Hunter S. Thompson

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Quote of the Day

Trying is the first step toward failure.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Quote of the Day

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
-- Richard P. Feynman