Thursday, July 31, 2008

Quote of the Day

When it comes to humility, I'm the greatest.
-- Bullwinkle Moose

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Quote of the Day

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
-- Dave Barry

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Quote of the Day

The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
-- Harlan Ellison

Monday, July 28, 2008

Quote of the Day

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
-- Aldous Huxley

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Quote of the Day

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
-- Douglas Adams

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Quote of the Day

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
-- Jack Handey

Week in Review

- Friday Cat Blogging: 2008-07-25
- Friday Random Ten: 2008-07-25
- Miscellaneous Links
- Greatest Hit
- Friday Cat Blogging: 2008-07-18
- Friday Random Ten: 2008-07-18
- Dream Theater: Hollow Years
- Wordpress 2.6
- Reading: _Reaper Man_
- John McCain: Still a Spammer

Friday, July 25, 2008

Quote of the Day

If there is no wind, row.
-- Polish proverb

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Quote of the Day

Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?
-- Frank Zappa

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Quote of the Day

Don't give me any of that Star Trek crap. It's too early in the morning.
-- Dave Lister

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Quote of the Day

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.
-- Bertrand Russell

Monday, July 21, 2008

Quote of the Day

My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
-- Stephen Wright

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Quote of the Day

Claude believed that only smart attractive people had the right to fuck, and it sincerely hurt him when he discovered evidence to the contrary.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume

Friday, July 18, 2008

Quote of the Day

The concept of the rock-guitar solo in the eightees has pretty much been reduced to: Weedly-weedly-wee, make a face, hold your guitar like it's your weenie, point it heavenward, and look like you're really doing something. Then, you geta big ovation while the the smoke bombs go off, and the motorized lights in your truss twirl around.
-- Frank Zappa

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Quote of the Day

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!
-- Jack Handey

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Quote of the Day

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it.
-- Richard P. Feynman

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

John McCain is a Spammer

Quote of the Day

We don't know who they are or where they come from, but we do know that they stand for everything we don't stand for. Also, I heard they said you guys look like dorks.
-- Captain Zapp Brannigan

Monday, July 14, 2008

Quote of the Day

Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
-- Captain Zapp Brannigan

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Quote of the Day

Adventure is just bad planning.
-- Roald Amundsen

Friday, July 11, 2008

Quote of the Day

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Quote of the Day

The great thing about absurd logic is that it fits any situation.
-- Dogbert

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Quote of the Day

The problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves and wiser people so full of doubts.
-- Bertrand Russell

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Quote of the Day

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Monday, July 07, 2008

Quote of the Day

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
-- Rita Rudner

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Quote of the Day

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.
-- Jack Handey

Friday, July 04, 2008

Quote of the Day

Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.
-- Albert Camus

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Quote of the Day

I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Quote of the Day

Are you correcting me? Don't correct me! I'm a Pantera's box you do NOT want to open!
-- Mr. Furious

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Quote of the Day

They do say, Mrs Miggins, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are of course wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head.
-- Edmund Blackadder, Esq. (Blackadder the Third)