Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Quote of the Day

This isn't a rental car - it's privately owned.
-- David Byrne (True Stories)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Quote of the Day

Non Illegitimus Carborundum.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
-- Jerry Seinfeld

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Quote of the Day

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Friday, November 25, 2011

Quote of the Day

A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
-- Jack Handey

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Quote of the Day

Once again, your stupidity has killed us!
-- Marco Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar Diego Garcia Marquez

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Quote of the Day

America tragically continues to fall behind the Chinese. It seems like no matter what we do, they stay 13 hours ahead.
-- Stephen Colbert

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Quote of the Day

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense and to the same extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H.L. Mencken

Monday, November 21, 2011

Quote of the Day

The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
-- Harlan Ellison

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Quote of the Day

After [Benjamin] Franklin came a herd of Electrical Pioneers whose names have become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary Louise Amp, James Watt, Bob Transformer, etc. These pioneers conducted many important electrical experiments. For example, in 1780 Luigi Galvani discovered (this is the truth) that when he attached two different kinds of metal to the leg of a frog, an electrical current developed and the frog's leg kicked, even though it was no longer attached to the frog, which was dead anyway. Galvani's discovery led to enormous advances in the field of amphibian medicine. Today, skilled veterinary surgeons can take a frog that has been seriously injured or killed, implant pieces of metal in its muscles, and watch it hop back into the pond just like a normal frog, except for the fact that it sinks like a stone.
-- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"

Friday, November 18, 2011

Quote of the Day

The more data I punch in this card, the lighter it becomes, and the lower the mailing cost.
-- S. Kelly-Bootle (The Devil's DP Dictionary)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Quote of the Day

Twenty two thousand days.
Twenty two thousand days.
It's not a lot.
It's all you've got.
Twenty two thousand days.

-- Moody Blues, "Twenty Two Thousand Days"

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Quote of the Day

It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.
-- Neil Gaiman

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor

Monday, November 14, 2011

Quote of the Day

There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate government action.
-- Bertrand Russell

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Quote of the Day

Mmmm...fuzzy.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Friday, November 11, 2011

Quote of the Day

When belief in a god dies, the god dies.
-- Harlan Ellison (Deathbird Stories)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Quote of the Day

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
-- Mark Twain

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Quote of the Day

The intelligent beings in these regions should therefore not be surprised if they observe that their locality in the universe satisfies the conditions that are necessary for their existence. It is a bit like a rich person living in a wealthy neighborhood not seeing any poverty.
-- Stephen Hawking

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Bing Rewards

Quote of the Day

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
-- Terry Pratchett (Jingo)

Monday, November 07, 2011

Quote of the Day

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.
-- George Carlin

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Quote of the Day

Yet golden treasure inside is hid.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Quote of the Day

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
-- Jack Handey

Week in Review

- Closer To The Heart
- Quote of the Day
- The Kardashians
- Wut?
- Disappointment
- Waffle-Ironed Egg
- Doctor Who?
- Science!
- RiffTrax Feature – Night of the Living Dead
- Modern Pumpkin Carving

Friday, November 04, 2011

Quote of the Day

Step aside, everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Quote of the Day

I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to "God" are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate.
-- George Carlin (Brain Droppings)

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Quote of the Day

Oh, No. I'm being hassled in the street by a chick.
-- Neil Pye

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Quote of the Day

All theoretical chemistry is really physics; and all theoretical chemists know it.
-- Richard P. Feynman