Friday, August 31, 2012

Quote of the Day

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!
-- Harlan Ellison

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Quote of the Day

In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.
-- Peter Ustinov

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Quote of the Day

I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.
-- Jack Handey

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Quote of the Day

The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are drifting side by side to our common doom.
-- Clarence Darrow

Monday, August 27, 2012

Quote of the Day

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Quote of the Day

There are two essential rules of management. One: the customer is always right. Two: they must be punished for their arrogance.
-- Dogbert

Friday, August 24, 2012

Quote of the Day

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Quote of the Day

Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That's why he was always going around wearing that crown-looking hat. He was the king of queen Archie's world.
-- Hooper LaMont

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Quote of the Day

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Quote of the Day

In the stands here I see a young couple who must be in love -- they're kissing on every pitch. He's kissing her on the strikes, and she's kissing him on the balls.
-- Harry Caray

Monday, August 20, 2012

Quote of the Day

Step aside, everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Quote of the Day

In the year 415, the woman scientist Hypatia, head of the legendary Alexandria library, was beaten to death by Christian monks who considered her a pagan. The leader of the monks, Cyril, was canonized a saint
-- James A. Haught (Free Inquiry, Winter 1996/1997)

Friday, August 17, 2012

Quote of the Day

Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.
-- Albert Einstein

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Quote of the Day

We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys.
-- The Shoveler

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Quote of the Day

Wait a minute. I'm a guy like me!
-- Homer J. Simpson

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Quote of the Day

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
-- Immanuel Kant

Monday, August 13, 2012

Quote of the Day

I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am!
-- Monty Python

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Quote of the Day

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
-- Jack Handey

Friday, August 10, 2012

Quote of the Day

Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well.
-- Siddhartha Gautama

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Quote of the Day

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-- George Carlin

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Quote of the Day

There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Quote of the Day

Nationalism is an infantile sickness. It is the measles of the human race.
-- Albert Einstein

Monday, August 06, 2012

Quote of the Day

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Quote of the Day

I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffineated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? ADMIRAL Crunch?
-- Philip J. Fry

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Quote of the Day

The five main kinds of electricity are alternating current, direct current, lightning, static, and European. Most American homes have alternating current, which means that the electricity goes in one direction for a while, then goes in the other direction. This prevents harmful electron buildup in the wires.
-- Dave Barry

Week in Review

- Everybody’s Everything
- Quote of the Day
- Cinematic Titanic – The Oozing Skull
- Mmmm, Bacon Burger
- 570,000
- MST3K 0412 – Hercules and the Captive Women
- Chris Marker
- HDMI Cable Scam
- RiffTrax Short – Beginning Responsibility: Lunchroom Manners
- America

Friday, August 03, 2012

Quote of the Day

And so, may Evil beware and may Good dress warmly and eat lots of fresh vegetables.
-- The Tick

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Quote of the Day

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
-- David Letterman

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Quote of the Day

Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed -- but a woman is always a woman.
-- James T. Kirk, "The Conscience of the King", stardate 2818.9