North American Foistboinder

"What shall we do?" said Twoflower. "Panic?" said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means o...

You know what, I am gonna have that third steak after all. -- Ron Swanson

All right, who did this? I'm not mad, I just want to know who did it so I can punish them. -- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran, killed 20 men, then spe...

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, ...

I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimm...

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve...

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to prete...

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out. -- Jack Handey

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is. -- George Carlin