I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Quote of the Day
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
-- Dorothy Parker
Monday, February 18, 2019
Quote of the Day
This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke: It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Quote of the Day
Why did this have to happen now, during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?
-- Homer J. Simpson
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Friday, February 15, 2019
Quote of the Day
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
-- Jack Handey
Thursday, February 14, 2019
Quote of the Day
A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
-- Bertrand Russell
Wednesday, February 13, 2019
Quote of the Day
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
-- Douglas Adams
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
Quote of the Day
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the gun accidentally goes off and kills his friend. Only in America is the villain in this commercial not guns or bad parenting, but pot.
-- Bill Maher
Monday, February 11, 2019
Quote of the Day
The persistence of erroneous beliefs exacerbates the widespread anachronistic failure to recognize the urgent problems that face humanity on this planet.
-- Murray Gell-Mann
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