Quote of the Day

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.
-- John Ciardi

Quote of the Day

Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

Quote of the Day

I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money.
-- Orson Welles

Quote of the Day

It has never mattered to me that thirty million people might think I'm wrong. The number of people who thought Hitler was right did not make him right... Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?
-- Frank Zappa

Quote of the Day

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
-- Dave Barry

Quote of the Day

I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy.
-- Richard P. Feynman

Quote of the Day

Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else." Then everybody would leave the Cricket Boy alone, and I'd invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after about five minutes of that loud chirping I'd have to kick him out. Maybe later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town. Bye, Cricket Boy.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Blow ye winds, like the trumpet blows, but without that noise.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

See these? American donuts. Glazed, powdered, and raspberry-filled. Now, how's that for freedom of choice.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
-- Terry Pratchett (Good Omens)