Quote of the Day

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
-- Al Franken

Quote of the Day

We are Sex Bob-omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.
-- Scott Pilgrim

Quote of the Day

All right, who did this? I'm not mad, I just want to know who did it so I can punish them.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

Woke up this mornin' an' I had myself a beer,
Yeah, Ah woke up this mornin' an' I had myself a beer
The future's uncertain and the end is always near.
-- Jim Morrison, "Roadhouse Blues"

Quote of the Day

Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

The five main kinds of electricity are alternating current, direct current, lightning, static, and European. Most American homes have alternating current, which means that the electricity goes in one direction for a while, then goes in the other direction. This prevents harmful electron buildup in the wires.
-- Dave Barry

Quote of the Day

Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.
-- Boomhauer

Quote of the Day

I wonder what the Shroud Of Turin tastes like.
-- Doctor John A. Zoidberg

Quote of the Day

I really only listen to like, German death reggae, and Halloween sound effects records from the 1950s... and Bette Midler, obviously.
-- April Ludgate

Quote of the Day

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
-- Groucho Marx