Quote of the Day

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

I look into the mirror
I see no happiness
All the warmth I gave you
Has turned to emptiness
The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
You've left me here believing
In love that wasn't there
-- Yes

Quote of the Day

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
-- Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
-- Charles Mingus

Quote of the Day

We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys. When it's used for evil, watch out! But when it's used for good, then things are much nicer.
-- The Tick

Quote of the Day

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
-- Ezekiel 23:20

Quote of the Day

An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to New Guinea with reports of a tribe so primitive that they have Tide but not new Tide with lemon-fresh Borax.
-- David Letterman

Quote of the Day

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
-- H.L. Mencken