Quote of the Day

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
-- Al Franken

Quote of the Day

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
-- David Letterman

Quote of the Day

If you don't live it, It won't come out of your horn.
-- Charlie Parker

Quote of the Day

Yep. My ex-wife Tammy cheated on me, then we divorced, then last week I ran into her sister Beth here; turns out she hates Tammy too, so we started dating. It's like a fairy tale!
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

Normally, I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know. No, I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

The concept of the rock-guitar solo in the eightees has pretty much been reduced to: Weedly-weedly-wee, make a face, hold your guitar like it's your weenie, point it heavenward, and look like you're really doing something. Then, you geta big ovation while the the smoke bombs go off, and the motorized lights in your truss twirl around.
-- Frank Zappa

Quote of the Day

I'm swelling with patriotic mucus!
-- Doctor John A. Zoidberg

Quote of the Day

Oh, so, just 'cause a robot wants to kill humans that makes him a radical?
-- Bender Unit 22