Quote of the Day

I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, "Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?" or "Do you have that $50 you borrowed?" Man, quit being so cheap!
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
-- Billy Crystal

Quote of the Day

If the fans don't wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop 'em.
-- Yogi Berra

Quote of the Day

In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing...
-- Nigel Tufnel

Quote of the Day

Here's my card. It's got my cell number, my pager number, my home number and my other pager number. I never take vacations, I never get sick. And I don't celebrate any major holidays.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

God's given me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
-- The Shoveler

Quote of the Day

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
-- Laurie Anderson

Quote of the Day

It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.
-- David St. Hubbins

Quote of the Day

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
-- Albert Einstein

Quote of the Day

Suppose we've chosen the wrong god? Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder.
-- Homer J. Simpson