Quote of the Day

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
-- Steven Wright

Quote of the Day

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Quote of the Day

Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.
-- Albert Einstein

Quote of the Day

They used dogs. They used probes. They used cardio plate crossoffs. They used teepers. They used bribery. They used stick tites. They used intimidation. They used torment. They used torture. They used finks. They used cops. They used search and seizure. They used fallaron. They used betterment incentives. They used finger prints. They used the bertillion system. They used cunning. They used guile. They used treachery. They used Raoul-Mitgong but he wasn't much help. They used applied physics. They used techniques of criminology. And what the hell, they caught him.
-- Harlan Ellison, "Repent, Harlequin, said the Tick-Tock Man"

Quote of the Day

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.
-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Quote of the Day

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
-- Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
-- Stephen Wright

Quote of the Day

It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
-- Al Franken

Quote of the Day

Hipness is not a state of mind, It's a fact of life!
-- Cannonball Adderley