Quote of the Day

What I envy most about tater tots is the way they stay young and innocent forever.
-- Stephen Colbert

Quote of the Day

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
-- Emo Philips

Quote of the Day

That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn.
-- Hillel the Elder

Quote of the Day

Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold.
-- Bob Marley

Quote of the Day

Non Illegitimus Carborundum.

Quote of the Day

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
-- HP Lovecraft

Quote of the Day

Two oil changes for the price of one! Now if I could afford the one, and the car.
-- Doctor John A. Zoidberg

Quote of the Day

No, forget the glass Woodhouse, just give me the pitcher. For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.
-- Sterling Archer

Quote of the Day

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

The last time somebody said, "I find I can write much better with a word processor.", I replied, "They used to say the same thing about drugs."
-- Roy Blount, Jr.