Quote of the Day

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
-- Emo Philips

Quote of the Day

There comes a time in the affairs of a man when he has to take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
-- W. C. Fields

Quote of the Day

In the strict scientific sense we all feed on death -- even vegetarians.
-- Spock, "Wolf in the Fold", stardate 3615.4

Quote of the Day

You can be a millionaire & never pay taxes! You say, 'Steve, how can I be a millionaire & never pay taxes?' First, get a million dollars. Now, you say, 'Steve, what do I say to the tax man when he comes to my door & says, 'You have never paid taxes?' Two simple words. Two simple words in the English language: 'I forgot!'
-- Steve Martin

Quote of the Day

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

I love treason but hate a traitor.
-- Gaius Julius Caesar

Quote of the Day

For the record, folks: I never took a shit on stage, and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973.
-- Frank Zappa

Quote of the Day

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

They have the Internet on computers, now?
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
-- Jack Handey