Quote of the Day

A functioning police state needs no police.
-- William S. Burroughs

Quote of the Day

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
-- Stephen Wright

Quote of the Day

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

Damn it, when I'm bombastic, I have my reasons. I want to be bombastic-take it or leave it.
-- Dave Brubeck

Quote of the Day

In the old days villains had moustaches and kicked the dog. Audiences are smarter today. They don't want their villain to be thrown at them with green limelight on his face. They want an ordinary human being with failings.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

Quote of the Day

What I have done is to show that it is possible for the way the universe began to be determined by the laws of science. In that case, it would not be necessary to appeal to God to decide how the universe began. This doesn't prove that there is no God, only that God is not necessary.
-- Stephen W. Hawking, Der Spiegel, 1989

Quote of the Day

Cocaine is God's way of saying that you're making too much money.
-- Robin Williams

Quote of the Day

Hooray, I'm useful!
-- Doctor John A. Zoidberg

Quote of the Day

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.
-- Lisa Simpson