Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Quote of the Day

Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it.
-- Bertrand Russell

Monday, May 23, 2016

Quote of the Day

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Quote of the Day

"What shall we do?" said Twoflower.

"Panic?" said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people faced with hungry sabretoothed tigers could be divided very simply into those who panicked and those who stood there saying "What a magnificent brute!" and "Here, pussy."

-- Terry Pratchett (The Light Fantastic)

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Quote of the Day

There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.
-- Ron Swanson

Friday, May 20, 2016

Quote of the Day

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
-- Frank Zappa

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Quote of the Day

Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.
-- Edgar R. Fiedler

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Quote of the Day

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
-- Jack Handey

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Quote of the Day

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Monday, May 16, 2016

Quote of the Day

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
-- Aldous Huxley

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Quote of the Day

Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
-- Captain Zapp Brannigan