Friday, July 03, 2015

Quote of the Day

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Thursday, July 02, 2015

Quote of the Day

Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.
-- Albert Camus

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Quote of the Day

Before I do anything I ask myself, "Would an idiot do that?" And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Quote of the Day

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, June 29, 2015

Quote of the Day

I call this turf 'n' turf. It's a 16 oz T-bone and a 24 oz porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.
-- Ron Swanson

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Quote of the Day

...it bugs me when people try to analyze jazz as an intellectual theorem. It's not. It's feeling.
-- Bill Evans

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Quote of the Day

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
-- Stephen Wright

Friday, June 26, 2015

Quote of the Day

I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles!
-- Homer J. Simpson

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Quote of the Day

In my land, women are for advancing the race, not for fighting man's battles.
-- Eros (Plan 9 from Outer Space)

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Quote of the Day

His power lies apparently in his ability to choose incompetent enemies.
-- Crow T. Robot