Saturday, August 27, 2016

Quote of the Day

I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.
-- Jack Handey

Friday, August 26, 2016

Quote of the Day

How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by a waiter at a nice party?

Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors d'oeuvre. If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell what's inside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then say: "This is cheese! I hate cheese!" Then you put the rest of it back on the tray and bite another one and go, "Darn it! Another cheese!" and so on.

-- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Quote of the Day

Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an 'inconvenience.' We have opted instead for an authoritarian system disguised as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there.
-- Frank Zappa

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Quote of the Day

And, Lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is, except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Quote of the Day

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense and to the same extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H.L. Mencken

Monday, August 22, 2016

Quote of the Day

Sex and the City 2 is the story of, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, four shopaholic whores.
-- Stephen Colbert

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Quote of the Day

Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.
-- Thomas Paine

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Quote of the Day

I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
-- Jack Handey

Friday, August 19, 2016

Quote of the Day

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
-- Frank Zappa

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Quote of the Day

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
-- Mark Twain