For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
-- Terry Pratchett (Equal Rites)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Quote of the Day
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Quote of the Day
I have to admit I have a monkey on my back. It represents my crippling addiction to monkeys.
-- Stephen Colbert (via Twitter)
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Quote of the Day
The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.
-- Jack Handey
Monday, December 26, 2011
Quote of the Day
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
-- George Carlin
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Quote of the Day
The trinitarian believes a virgin to be the mother of a son who is her maker.
-- Sir Francis Bacon
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Quote of the Day
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
-- Albert Einstein
Friday, December 23, 2011
Quote of the Day
An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Quote of the Day
If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
-- Isaac Asimov
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Quote of the Day
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
-- Scott Adams
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Quote of the Day
Justifying space exploration because we get non-stick frying pans is like justifying music because it is good exercise for the violinists right arm.
-- Richard Dawkins
Monday, December 19, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Quote of the Day
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Quote of the Day
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
-- Mark Twain
Friday, December 16, 2011
Quote of the Day
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
-- Aldous Huxley
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Quote of the Day
Alone! I'm alone! I'm a lonely, insignificant speck on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Monday, December 12, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Quote of the Day
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
-- Dick Cavett
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Quote of the Day
Like my parents, I have never been a regular church member or churchgoer. It doesn't seem plausible to me that there is the kind of God who watches over human affairs, listens to prayers, and tries to guide people to follow His precepts -- there is just too much misery and cruelty for that. On the other hand, I respect and envy the people who get inspiration from their religions.
-- Benjamin Spock
Friday, December 09, 2011
Quote of the Day
You can't fool me. It's soy juice. There's no such thing as soy milk, because there's no such thing as a soy tit.
-- Lewis Black
Thursday, December 08, 2011
Quote of the Day
Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
-- Kent Brockman
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Quote of the Day
Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realizing that most of his customers wanted meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease, and burnt crunchy bits.
-- Terry Pratchett (Men at Arms)
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
Quote of the Day
Never have I encountered such foul, mindless perversity! Have you considered a career in the church?
-- Bishop of Bath and Wells (Blackadder II)
Monday, December 05, 2011
Quote of the Day
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
-- Al Franken
Sunday, December 04, 2011
Saturday, December 03, 2011
Week in Review
Friday, December 02, 2011
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Quote of the Day
If you have trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams
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