Quote of the Day

A 7 day waiting period to buy a gun? That's stupid. Nobody can remain mad that long.
-- Emo Philips

Quote of the Day

His power lies apparently in his ability to choose incompetent enemies.
-- Crow T. Robot

Quote of the Day

I believe the Republicans have never thought that democracy was anything but a tribal myth.
-- Hunter S. Thompson

Quote of the Day

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
-- George Carlin

Quote of the Day

A noble spirit embiggins the smallest man.
-- Jebidiah Springfield

Quote of the Day

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
-- Terry Pratchett (Jingo)

Quote of the Day

Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor.
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

Back in high school, my buddies tried to put the make on anything that moved. I told them, "Why limit yourselves?"
-- Emo Philips

Quote of the Day

Woke up this mornin' an' I had myself a beer,
Yeah, Ah woke up this mornin' an' I had myself a beer
The future's uncertain and the end is always near.
-- Jim Morrison, "Roadhouse Blues"

Quote of the Day

You know something, folks, as ridiculous as this sounds, I would rather feel the sweet breath of my beautiful wife on the back of my neck as I sleep than stuff dollar bills into some stranger's G-string.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Oh my God. This is just like that drug trip I saw in that movie while I was on that drug trip.
-- Philip J. Fry

Quote of the Day

Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied, so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre

Quote of the Day

If a clown offers you a hamburger, and it's not Ronald McDonald, do not eat the hamburger. Learned that the hard way.
-- Stephen Colbert (via Twitter)

Quote of the Day

No! No! NO! We're not watching the bloody Good Life! Bloody bloody bloody! I hate it! It's so bloody nice! Felicity "Treacle" Kendall and Richard "Sugar-Flavored-Snot" Briars! What do they do now? Chocolate bloody Button ads, that's what! They're just a couple of reactionary stereotypes, confirming the myth that everyone in Britain is a lovable, middle-class eccentric - and I - HATE - THEM!
-- Vyvyan Basterd

Quote of the Day

You wake me up early in the morning to tell me I am right? Please wait until I am wrong.
-- Johann Von Neumann

Quote of the Day

Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.
-- Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day

Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
-- Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)

Quote of the Day

[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.
-- Terry Pratchett (Monstrous Regiment)

Quote of the Day

We are Sex Bob-omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.
-- Scott Pilgrim

Quote of the Day

Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.
-- Frank Zappa

Quote of the Day

Before I do anything I ask myself, "Would an idiot do that?" And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
-- Bertrand Russell

Quote of the Day

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi

Quote of the Day

A vital difference between the professional man and a man of business is that money making to the professional man should, by virtue of his assumption, be incidental; to the business man it is primary. Money has its limitations; while it may buy quantity, there is something beyond it and that is quality.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright

Quote of the Day

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
-- Henny Youngman

Quote of the Day

I went home with a waitress,
The way I always do.
How I was I to know?
She was with the Russians too.

I was gambling in Havana,
I took a little risk.
Send lawyers, guns, and money,
Dad, get me out of this.
-- Warren Zevon, "Lawyers, Guns and Money"

Quote of the Day

There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
-- Charles Anthony Richard Hoare

Quote of the Day

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
-- Groucho Marx

Quote of the Day

As great scientists have said and as all children know, it is above all by the imagination that we achieve perception, and compassion, and hope.
-- Ursula K. Le Guin

Quote of the Day

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson