Saturday, December 31, 2011

Friday, December 30, 2011

Quote of the Day

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
-- William Goldman

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Quote of the Day

I have to admit I have a monkey on my back. It represents my crippling addiction to monkeys.
-- Stephen Colbert (via Twitter)

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet.
-- William Gibson

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Quote of the Day

The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, December 26, 2011

Quote of the Day

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
-- George Carlin

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Quote of the Day

The trinitarian believes a virgin to be the mother of a son who is her maker.
-- Sir Francis Bacon

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Quote of the Day

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
-- Albert Einstein

Week in Review

- My Beloved Movie Star
- Happy Festivus!
- The Spirit of Christmas
- A Dose of Holiday Weirdness
- Quote of the Day
- Santa is a Jerk
- Freakin’ Ironic
- The Physics of Santa
- Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!
- National Flashlight Day

Friday, December 23, 2011

Quote of the Day

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Quote of the Day

If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
-- Isaac Asimov

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Quote of the Day

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
-- Scott Adams

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Quote of the Day

Justifying space exploration because we get non-stick frying pans is like justifying music because it is good exercise for the violinists right arm.
-- Richard Dawkins

Monday, December 19, 2011

Quote of the Day

Reality continues to ruin my life.
-- Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Quote of the Day

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Friday, December 16, 2011

Quote of the Day

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
-- Aldous Huxley

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on.
-- Frank Zappa

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Quote of the Day

A noble spirit embiggins the smallest man.
-- Jebidiah Springfield

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Quote of the Day

Alone! I'm alone! I'm a lonely, insignificant speck on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!
-- Homer J. Simpson

Monday, December 12, 2011

Quote of the Day

We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys.
-- The Shoveler

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Quote of the Day

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
-- Dick Cavett

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Quote of the Day

Like my parents, I have never been a regular church member or churchgoer. It doesn't seem plausible to me that there is the kind of God who watches over human affairs, listens to prayers, and tries to guide people to follow His precepts -- there is just too much misery and cruelty for that. On the other hand, I respect and envy the people who get inspiration from their religions.
-- Benjamin Spock

Week in Review

- Last Minute Bad Gift Ideas
- Clementine
- Quote of the Day
- Pujols Lebrons St. Louis
- Put Saturn back into Saturnalia
- Twilight: The Video Game
- Mmmm, Frozen Mexican Dinner
- Thin Skinned
- Dutch Christmas
- RiffTrax Feature – House On Haunted Hill

Friday, December 09, 2011

Quote of the Day

You can't fool me. It's soy juice. There's no such thing as soy milk, because there's no such thing as a soy tit.
-- Lewis Black

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Quote of the Day

Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
-- Kent Brockman

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Quote of the Day

Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realizing that most of his customers wanted meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease, and burnt crunchy bits.
-- Terry Pratchett (Men at Arms)

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Quote of the Day

Never have I encountered such foul, mindless perversity! Have you considered a career in the church?
-- Bishop of Bath and Wells (Blackadder II)

Monday, December 05, 2011

Quote of the Day

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
-- Al Franken

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Quote of the Day

Instant gratification takes too long.
-- Carrie Fisher

Friday, December 02, 2011

Quote of the Day

You're not going crazy! You're going sane in a crazy world!
-- The Tick

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Quote of the Day

If you have trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Quote of the Day

This isn't a rental car - it's privately owned.
-- David Byrne (True Stories)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Quote of the Day

Non Illegitimus Carborundum.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
-- Jerry Seinfeld

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Quote of the Day

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Friday, November 25, 2011

Quote of the Day

A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
-- Jack Handey

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Quote of the Day

Once again, your stupidity has killed us!
-- Marco Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar Diego Garcia Marquez

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Quote of the Day

America tragically continues to fall behind the Chinese. It seems like no matter what we do, they stay 13 hours ahead.
-- Stephen Colbert

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Quote of the Day

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense and to the same extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H.L. Mencken

Monday, November 21, 2011

Quote of the Day

The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
-- Harlan Ellison

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Quote of the Day

After [Benjamin] Franklin came a herd of Electrical Pioneers whose names have become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary Louise Amp, James Watt, Bob Transformer, etc. These pioneers conducted many important electrical experiments. For example, in 1780 Luigi Galvani discovered (this is the truth) that when he attached two different kinds of metal to the leg of a frog, an electrical current developed and the frog's leg kicked, even though it was no longer attached to the frog, which was dead anyway. Galvani's discovery led to enormous advances in the field of amphibian medicine. Today, skilled veterinary surgeons can take a frog that has been seriously injured or killed, implant pieces of metal in its muscles, and watch it hop back into the pond just like a normal frog, except for the fact that it sinks like a stone.
-- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"

Friday, November 18, 2011

Quote of the Day

The more data I punch in this card, the lighter it becomes, and the lower the mailing cost.
-- S. Kelly-Bootle (The Devil's DP Dictionary)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Quote of the Day

Twenty two thousand days.
Twenty two thousand days.
It's not a lot.
It's all you've got.
Twenty two thousand days.

-- Moody Blues, "Twenty Two Thousand Days"

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Quote of the Day

It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.
-- Neil Gaiman

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor

Monday, November 14, 2011

Quote of the Day

There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate government action.
-- Bertrand Russell

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Quote of the Day

Mmmm...fuzzy.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Friday, November 11, 2011

Quote of the Day

When belief in a god dies, the god dies.
-- Harlan Ellison (Deathbird Stories)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Quote of the Day

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
-- Mark Twain

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Quote of the Day

The intelligent beings in these regions should therefore not be surprised if they observe that their locality in the universe satisfies the conditions that are necessary for their existence. It is a bit like a rich person living in a wealthy neighborhood not seeing any poverty.
-- Stephen Hawking

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Bing Rewards

Quote of the Day

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
-- Terry Pratchett (Jingo)

Monday, November 07, 2011

Quote of the Day

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.
-- George Carlin

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Quote of the Day

Yet golden treasure inside is hid.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Quote of the Day

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
-- Jack Handey

Week in Review

- Closer To The Heart
- Quote of the Day
- The Kardashians
- Wut?
- Disappointment
- Waffle-Ironed Egg
- Doctor Who?
- Science!
- RiffTrax Feature – Night of the Living Dead
- Modern Pumpkin Carving

Friday, November 04, 2011

Quote of the Day

Step aside, everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Quote of the Day

I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to "God" are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate.
-- George Carlin (Brain Droppings)

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Quote of the Day

Oh, No. I'm being hassled in the street by a chick.
-- Neil Pye

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Quote of the Day

All theoretical chemistry is really physics; and all theoretical chemists know it.
-- Richard P. Feynman

Monday, October 31, 2011

Quote of the Day

The enemy of society is middle class and the enemy of life is middle age.
-- Orson Welles

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Quote of the Day

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-- Umberto Eco

Friday, October 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
-- Penn Jillette

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Quote of the Day

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.
-- Frank Zappa

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Quote of the Day

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and hand it to him.
-- Jack Handey

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Quote of the Day

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, October 24, 2011

Quote of the Day

We look at the ancient Greeks with their gods on a mountain top throwing lightning bolts and say, "Those ancient Greeks. They were so silly. So primitive and naive. Not like our religions. We have burning bushes talking to people and guys walking on water. We're ...sophisticated."
-- Paul Provenza

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Quote of the Day

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
-- Billy Crystal

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Quote of the Day

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
-- Mark Twain

Week in Review

- Bicycle Repairman
- Great Lakes Coal Down 7% in September
- The Sensual World
- Quote of the Day
- My Name is Tony LaRussa
- Scorn in the U.S.A.
- Mmmm, $100,000 Champagne
- Northeast Passage
- Great Lakes Limestone Trade Up Slightly in September
- RiffTrax Live – Reefer Madness

Friday, October 21, 2011

Quote of the Day

Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as an oral bowel movement.
-- Randal Graves

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Quote of the Day

A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider godfearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side.
-- Aristotle (384-322 BCE), "Politics"

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Quote of the Day

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
-- Stephen Wright

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Quote of the Day

Bring me a creationist who doesn't lie, deceive, distort and distract then I will show you a whole lot of thin air!
-- Clayton Forno

Monday, October 17, 2011

Quote of the Day

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
-- Stephen Wright

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Quote of the Day

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

...I don't think music turns people into social liabilities. Because you hear a lyric -- there's no medical proof that a person hearing a lyric is going to act out the lyric. There's also no medical proof that if you hear any collection of vowels and consonants, that the hearing of that collection is going to send you to Hell.
-- Frank Zappa

Week in Review

- Welcome to the Machine
- Quote of the Day
- Reading: _Bring the Jubilee_
- Physics FAILs
- Mmmm, Crap Tortilla
- Not Joe the Not a Plumber to Become Not a Congressman
- 370,000
- MST3K 0805 – The Thing that Couldn’t Die
- Free Atlas
- RiffTrax Short – Overcoming Fear

Friday, October 14, 2011

Quote of the Day

The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty, not knowing what comes next.
-- Ursula K. Le Guin

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Quote of the Day

You read the Bible in your own special ways
you're fond of quoting certain things it says
Mouth full of righteousness and wrath from above
When do we hear about forgiveness and love?

-- Bruce Cockburn, "Gospel of Bondage"

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Quote of the Day

It has never mattered to me that thirty million people might think I'm wrong. The number of people who thought Hitler was right did not make him right... Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?
-- Frank Zappa

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Quote of the Day

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
-- Douglas Adams

Monday, October 10, 2011

Quote of the Day

It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side.
-- Frank Zappa

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Quote of the Day

I'll die if I miss Scooby-Doo.
-- Neil Pye

Friday, October 07, 2011

Quote of the Day

I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
-- Jack Handey

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Quote of the Day

And so, may Evil beware and may Good dress warmly and eat lots of fresh vegetables.
-- The Tick

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Quote of the Day

Let's face it, comedy is a dead art form. Now tragedy, ha ha ha, that's funny!
-- Bender Unit 22

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Quote of the Day

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
-- Mark Twain

Monday, October 03, 2011

Quote of the Day

Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled.
-- Harlan Ellison

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Quote of the Day

A thousand years frozen in carbonite? It'll be so cold!
-- Derek 'Stormy' Waters

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Friday, September 30, 2011

Quote of the Day

Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.
-- Frank Zappa

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Quote of the Day

I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter how dumb my suggestions are.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

I like a cold because I get to do my favorite drug, which is NyQuil. I love that stuff. What do the rest of you use? Robitussin? Robitussin, why do you bother? Non-narcotic sissy pansy bullshit! NyQuil's the best thing I've ever read on a medicine package, '180 Proof.' It's the moonshine of medicine. You can buy it on a holiday! When I got a cold, I want something that's gonna fuck me up! Cause that way the blur seems interesting... NyQuil comes in two colors, red and green. It's the only thing on the planet that tastes like...red and green. And red and green are what? Christmas colors! That's right, NyQuil makes a dandy eggnog. Oh yeah, my friends bitched through the whole party, 'This tastes like shit!' But at the end of it, we had a fun sleepover.
-- Lewis Black

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Quote of the Day

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
-- W. C. Fields

Monday, September 26, 2011

Quote of the Day

Why don't you listen to something really classical like Mozart, Mendelsohn or Motorhead?
-- Arnold Judas Rimmer

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Quote of the Day

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.
-- Blaise Pascal

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Quote of the Day

Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
-- Bob & Ray

Week in Review

- Incident at Cabazon
- Quote of the Day
- Reading: _The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ_
- Lorem Ipsum
- Mmmm, Lamb Raisin
- MySpace FAIL
- MST3K 0817 – The Horror of Party Beach
- Talk Like a Pirate Day
- Newspapers
- MST3K Short – Why Study Industrial Arts?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Quote of the Day

Consistently separating words by spaces became a general custom about the tenth century, and lasted until about 1957, when FORTRAN abandoned the practise.
-- Sun FORTRAN Reference Manual

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Quote of the Day

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
-- Mark Twain

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Quote of the Day

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-- Mark Twain

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Quote of the Day

The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has the medieval aroma -- like the days when everything used to sound like that.
-- Frank Zappa

Monday, September 19, 2011

Quote of the Day

Thank God for Savage and Scarborough. Without them, who, besides Rush, OReilly, Buchanan, Novak, Kristol, Roger Ailes, Hannity, Barnes, Hume, Will, the Wall Street Journal, The Washington Times, The New York Post, the Weekly Standard, American Spectator, The New York Sun, all of Fox, most of MSNBC cable, much of CNN, ABC, National Review, Drudge, Andy, Ann Coulter, Bernard Goldberg, etc, etc, would have the guts to take on The liberal media?
-- Eric Alterman

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Quote of the Day

I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Quote of the Day

It may be that the old astrologers had the truth exactly reversed, when they believed that the stars controlled the destinies of men. The time may come when men control the destinies of stars.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Week in Review

- On The Backs Of Angels
- Quote of the Day
- Pendulum Waves
- More Wingnut Porn
- A Sign the End is Near
- “Saving” Money
- Great Lakes Limestone Trade Up 14 Percent in August
- The GOP II
- MST3K 0320 – The Unearthly
- Sacrificed Sons

Friday, September 16, 2011

Quote of the Day

You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!
-- Max Bialystock

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

You drank beer, you played golf, you watched football - WE EVOLVED!
-- Frank Zappa

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Quote of the Day

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
-- David Letterman

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Quote of the Day

When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you can head off your foes with a balanced attack.
-- The Sphinx

Monday, September 12, 2011

Quote of the Day

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
-- Douglas Adams

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Quote of the Day

Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.
-- Thomas Paine

Friday, September 09, 2011

Quote of the Day

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
-- Groucho Marx

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Quote of the Day

I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.
-- Jack Handey

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Quote of the Day

That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing.
-- Captain Zapp Brannigan

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Quote of the Day

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
-- Mark Twain

Monday, September 05, 2011

Quote of the Day

It's taken me all my life to learn what not to play.
-- Dizzy Gillespie

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Quote of the Day

If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.
-- Jack Handey

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Quote of the Day

I am very fond of the company of ladies. I like their beauty, I like their delicacy, I like their vivacity, and I like their silence.
-- Samuel Johnson

Week in Review

- The Black Page 1 and 2
- Quote of the Day
- Northwest Passage
- When will it end?
- Le Voyage dans la lune
- Al Gore is Fat!
- Dinner
- Containership Orders Increase
- MST3K 0701 – Night of the Blood Beast
- Retro Mowing

Friday, September 02, 2011

Quote of the Day

Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
-- Jack Handey

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Quote of the Day

Meetings are an addictive, highly self indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only becuase they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Quote of the Day

The general root of superstition is that men observe when things hit, and not when they miss, and commit to memory the one, and pass over the other.
-- Sir Francis Bacon

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Quote of the Day

You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society.
-- Moe Szyslak

Monday, August 29, 2011

Quote of the Day

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
-- Steven Wright

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Quote of the Day

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry

Week in Review

- Muppet Show Theme Song
- Quote of the Day
- Lenny White
- New Apostolic Reformation
- More of the same
- Mmmm, The Wild Germ Hates Soup with Crisp Skin
- First American waffle iron
- Reading: _The Areas of My Expertise_
- Heigh-Ho?
- MST3K 0623 – The Amazing Transparent Man

Friday, August 26, 2011

Quote of the Day

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
-- Aaron McGruder

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Quote of the Day

You'd better beat it. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.
-- Groucho Marx

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Quote of the Day

I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing...
-- Thomas Jefferson

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Quote of the Day

The word "spine" is, of course, an anagram of "penis". This is true in almost fifty percent of the languages of the Galaxy, and many people have attempted to explain why. Usually these explanations get bogged down in silly puns about "standing erect".
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Monday, August 22, 2011

Quote of the Day

I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.
-- Marcus Procius Cato

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Quote of the Day

There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
-- Charles Anthony Richard Hoare

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Quote of the Day

I don't own a computer, or a modem, or anything like that; I still work on a manual typewriter, by choice, and to those who consider me a Luddite I say: Fuck you and yo mama. I operate at the level of technology that best suits my needs. And I type at 120 words per minute --two fingers --I make no mistakes, and my manuscripts are real. You can pick them up and hold them. My typewriter doesn't dump it's memory --I don't lose a book.
-- Harlan Ellison

Week in Review

- School Days
- Quote of the Day
- The GOP
- Wingnut Porn
- Reading: _The Grand Design_
- Fox “News” Science FAIL
- MST3K 0819 – Invasion of the Neptune Men
- 1000 years in the future…
- Drums and Percussion
- MST3K Short – Out of this World

Friday, August 19, 2011

Quote of the Day

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.
-- Jack Handey

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Quote of the Day

I don't know what you could say about a day in which you have seen four beautiful sunsets.
-- John Glenn

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Quote of the Day

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
-- Joseph Heller (God Knows)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Quote of the Day

The creed whose legitimacy is most easily challenged is likely to develop the strongest proselytizing impulse. It is doubtful whether a movement which does not profess some preposterous and patently irrational dogma can be possessed of that zealous drive which "must either win men or destroy the world." It is also plausible that those movements with the greatest inner contradiction between profession and practice-that is to say with a strong feeling of guilt-are likely to be the most fervent in imposing their faith on others.
-- Eric Hoffer, The True Believer, 1951, section 88

Monday, August 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Quote of the Day

There was no place in the land where the seeker could not find some small budding sign of pity for the slave. No place in all the land but one-- the pulpit. It yielded last; it always does. It fought a strong and stubborn fight, and then did what it always does, joined the procession-- at the tail end. Slavery fell. The slavery texts in the Bible remained; the practice changed; that was all.
-- Mark Twain

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Friday, August 12, 2011

Quote of the Day

He was in a quandary...being devoured by the swirling cesspool of his own steaming desires... uh.. the guy was a wreck.
-- Frank Zappa

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Quote of the Day

...and no philosophy, sadly, has all the answers. No matter how assured we may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful inconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions. This is true in religion as it is in politics, and is self-evident to all except fanatics and the naive. As for the fanatics, whose number is legion in our own time, we might be advised to leave them to heaven. They will not, unfortunately, do us the same courtesy. They attack us and each other, and whatever their protestations to peaceful intent, the bloody record of history makes clear that they are easily disposed to restore to the sword. My own belief in God, then, is just that -- a matter of belief, not knowledge. My respect for Jesus Christ arises from the fact that He seems to have been the most virtuous inhabitant of Planet Earth. But even well-educated Christians are frustated in their thirst for certainty about the beloved figure of Jesus because of the undeniab le ambiguity of the scriptural record. Such ambiguity is not apparent to children or fanatics, but every recognized Bible scholar is perfectly aware of it. Some Christians, alas, resort to formal lying to obscure such reality.
-- Steve Allen

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Quote of the Day

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
-- George Carlin

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Quote of the Day

I'm condemned by a society that demands success when all I can offer is failure!
-- Max Bialystock

Monday, August 08, 2011

Quote of the Day

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way.
-- Pink Floyd

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Quote of the Day

The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.
-- William Gibson

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Quote of the Day

A Democratic victory would not change the world, but it would at least slow the berserk white-trash momentum of the bombs-and-Jesus crowd. Those people have had their way long enough. Not even the Book of Revelations threatens a plague of vengeful yahoos.
-- Hunter Thompson

Week in Review

- Oye Como Va
- Quote of the Day
- James A. Bohannon Science Center
- Unclear on the Concept
- $650 Block of Wood
- MST3K 0617 – The Sword and the Dragon
- The Fun Never Sets on the Teabaggers!!
- MST3K Short – Money Talks!
- There is such a thing as a stupid question…
- Watermelon Man

Friday, August 05, 2011

Quote of the Day

The connection between the language in which we think/program and the problems and solutions we can imagine is very close. For this reason restricting language features with the intent of eliminating programmer errors is at best dangerous.
-- Bjarne Stroustrup (The C++ Programming Language)

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Quote of the Day

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
-- Vince Lombardi

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Quote of the Day

A little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful software systems have been designed by committees and built as part of multipart projects, those software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are the products of one or a few designing minds, great designers. Consider Unix, APL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them with Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS.
-- Fred Brooks

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Quote of the Day

Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night.
-- Philip K. Dick

Monday, August 01, 2011

Quote of the Day

Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling hes story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Quote of the Day

All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.
-- Mark Twain

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Quote of the Day

I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
-- Stephen Wright

Week in Review

- There is such a thing as a stupid question…
- Watermelon Man
- Quote of the Day
- Enough!
- Mmmm, Duck Head
- MythBusters Trailer
- Doctor Who 6.2 Trailer
- MST3K 0612 – San Francisco International
- Own a Piece of Bad Movie History
- MST3K Short – Hired!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Quote of the Day

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
-- Jack Handey

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

One of the great attractions of patriotism - it fulfills our worst wishes. In the person of our nation we are able, vicariously, to bully and cheat. Bully and cheat, what's more, with a feeling that we are profoundly virtuous.
-- Aldous Huxley

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Quote of the Day

If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
-- Jack Handey

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Quote of the Day

I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, July 25, 2011

Quote of the Day

You can tell Buddha was never married. Otherwise his wife would have always been saying, "What are you gonna do, sit around like that all day?"
-- Garry Shandling

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Quote of the Day

Carob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of fats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture. Of course, the same can be said of dirt.
-- Sandra Boynton

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Quote of the Day

So once again, we find that evil of the past seeps into the present like salad dressing through cheap wax paper, mixing memory and desire.
-- The Tick

Week in Review

- Early Frank Zappa
- Quote of the Day
- It’s 4:00 AM
- Arguments
- Mmmm, Ironed Pizza
- Southern Lights
- MST3K 00K21 – The Legend of Dinosaurs
- Neat Video
- It’s Like Living During the Dark Ages
- I’ll Find My Way Home

Friday, July 22, 2011

Quote of the Day

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
-- Yogi Berra

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Quote of the Day

... of course, this probably only happens for tcsh which uses wait4(), which is why I never saw it. Serves people who use that abomination right 8^)
-- Linus Torvalds, about a patch that fixes getrusage for 1.3.26

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Quote of the Day

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin, and the bassist is the late Barry Oakley of the Allman Brothers. So Stevie Ray's thinking, "Oh, wow! I've died and gone to rock and roll heaven." Just then, Karen Carpenter walks in, sits down at the drums, and says: "'Close to You'. Hit it, boys!"
-- Told by Penn Jillette, of magic/comedy duo Penn and Teller

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Quote of the Day

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright

Monday, July 18, 2011

Quote of the Day

Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Quote of the Day

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up.
-- Bob Uecker

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Quote of the Day

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
-- Jack Handey

Week in Review

- I’ll Find My Way Home
- Quote of the Day
- It sucks…
- It’s Refreshment Time
- 330,000
- MSDN
- MST3K 0401 – Space Travelers
- Bad News
- Equal Time
- NFL Lockout

Friday, July 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
-- Mark Twain

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Quote of the Day

One trend that bothers me is the glorification of stupidity, that the media is reassuring people it's alright not to know anything. That to me is far more dangerous than a little pornography on the Internet.
-- Carl Sagan

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Quote of the Day

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
-- Groucho Marx

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Quote of the Day

To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.
-- Isaac Asimov

Monday, July 11, 2011

Quote of the Day

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Quote of the Day

Risch's decision procedure for integration, not surprisingly, uses a recursion on the number and type of the extensions from the rational functions needed to represent the integrand. Although the algorithm follows and critically depends upon the appropriate structure of the input, as in the case of multivariate factorization, we cannot claim that the algorithm is a natural one. In fact, the creator of differential algebra, Ritt, committed suicide in the early 1950's, largely, it is claimed, because few paid attention to his work. Probably he would have received more attention had he obtained the algorithm as well.
-- Joel Moses, Algorithms and Complexity, ed. J.F. Traub

Friday, July 08, 2011

Quote of the Day

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.
-- Jack Handey

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Quote of the Day

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
-- George Carlin

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Quote of the Day

I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any questions , I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?

He said he couldn't answer that, I told him sorry, but I couldn't work for him then.

-- Stephen Wright

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Quote of the Day

Mmmm, purple.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Monday, July 04, 2011

Quote of the Day

The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Sunday, July 03, 2011

Quote of the Day

We could jam in Joe's garage,
we didn't have no dope or LSD,
but a coupl'o'quarts o'beer,
would fix it so the intonation,
would not offend your ear.

-- Frank Zappa

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Quote of the Day

No one has an idea really of where we should draw the line. What about the Bible? Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around. If you're looking for violent rape imagery, the Bible's right there in your hotel room. If you just want to look up ways to screw people up, there it is, and you're justified because God told you to. You have Shakespeare and you have Sophocles--what are we going to do, lose Oedipus Rex if someone pokes an eye out?
-- Penn Jillette, from Reason magazine, on censorship of violent TV shows

Week in Review

- Games People Play
- Quote of the Day
- MST3K Short – The Selling Wizard
- Mmmm, Morning Scorn
- More Angry Birds
- MST3K 0904 – The Deadly Bees
- Michele Bachmann Praises Serial Killer
- American Gods
- Drum and Bugle Corps Scores (RSS)
- Wings of Desire

Friday, July 01, 2011

Quote of the Day

Almost anything derogatory you could say about today's software design would be accurate.
-- K.E. Iverson

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Quote of the Day

What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?
-- The Doctor

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Quote of the Day

Hey, wouldn't it be terrible if we ended up having to eat each other? Like those sailors did in that film, um..."We Ended Up Having To Eat Each Other."
-- Neil Pye

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religion.... Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, quite intelligent enough.
-- Aldous Huxley

Monday, June 27, 2011

Quote of the Day

If only more Christians read their bibles there'd be less Christians.
-- Derek W. Clayton

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Quote of the Day

The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.
-- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Friday, June 24, 2011

Quote of the Day

Most of what we strive for in our modern life uses the apparatus of goal seeking that was originally set up to seek goals in the state of nature.
-- Richard Dawkins

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Quote of the Day

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.
-- Mark Twain

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Quote of the Day

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed; they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!
-- Orson Welles

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Quote of the Day

And thank you most of all for nuclear power, which is yet to cause a single proven fatality, at least in this country.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Monday, June 20, 2011

Quote of the Day

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
-- Siddhartha Gautama

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Quote of the Day

I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners.
-- Berkeley Breathed

Friday, June 17, 2011

Quote of the Day

If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.
-- I. F. Stone

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Quote of the Day

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
-- Douglas Adams

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
-- Captain Zapp Brannigan

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Quote of the Day

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
-- Terry Pratchett

Monday, June 13, 2011

Quote of the Day

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
-- Stephen Wright

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Quote of the Day

"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God."

"I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be."

-- Joseph Heller (Catch-22)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Quote of the Day

The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
-- Bertrand Russell

Week in Review

- Angry Birds
- Quote of the Day
- A picture in need of a caption
- A Diet I Can Stick With
- Something like this needs to happen…
- MST3K 0811 – Parts: The Clonus Horror
- More Cowbell
- On the internet, …
- Stink-Foot
- Low Tech Angry Birds

Friday, June 10, 2011

Quote of the Day

Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.
-- Brodie Bruce

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Quote of the Day

Q -- Is there life after death?
A -- Definitely. I speak from personal experience here. On New Year's Eve, 1970, I drank a full pitcher of a drink called "Black Russian", then crawled out on the lawn and died within a matter of minutes, which was fine with me because I had come to realize that if I had lived I would have spent the rest of my life in the grip of the most excruciatingly painful headache. Thanks to the miracle of modern orange juice, I was brought back to life several days later, but in the interim I was definitely dead. I guess my main impression of the afterlife is that it isn't so bad as long as you keep the television turned down and don't try to eat any solid foods.
-- Dave Barry

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Quote of the Day

The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos.
-- Stephen Jay Gould

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Quote of the Day

The nanny state is always sticking its nose into our business, from baby seats to motorcycle helmets, yet when I let my baby drive my Harley in a baby seat with a helmet, they call child services.
-- Stephen Colbert

Monday, June 06, 2011

Quote of the Day

To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.
-- The Sphinx

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Quote of the Day

I'm about to write you a reality check! Or would you prefer the cold, hard cash of truth?
-- The Tick

Friday, June 03, 2011

Quote of the Day

Recently, I've been working with the Salvation Navy. Good outfit, but it's hard to get people to join. Not many people want to sit in a rowboat with a bass drum in their lap.
-- George Carlin

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Quote of the Day

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards.
-- H. L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan, counsel for the supporters of Tennessee's anti-evolution law at the Scopes "Monkey Trial" in 1925.

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Quote of the Day

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Orson Welles

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Quote of the Day

Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.
-- Richard Dawkins

Monday, May 30, 2011

Quote of the Day

You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread.
-- Captain Zapp Brannigan

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Quote of the Day

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
-- Groucho Marx

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Quote of the Day

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
-- Jack Handey

Week in Review

- Into The Lens
- Quote of the Day
- Trailer – Torchwood: Miracle Day
- Bacon Pancakes
- Towel Day
- Volcanic Plume
- MST3K 1008 – Final Justice
- Post Rapture Looting
- Estimated Crowd: 2000
- Reading: _A Clash of Kings_

Friday, May 27, 2011

Quote of the Day

Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
-- Kent Brockman

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Quote of the Day

I do understand what love is, and that is one of the reasons I can never again be a Christian. Love is not self denial. Love is not blood and suffering. Love is not murdering your son to appease your own vanity. Love is not hatred or wrath, consigning billions of people to eternal torture because they have offended your ego or disobeyed your rules. Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that iscontingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being.
-- Dan Barker (Losing Faith in Faith)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Quote of the Day

It is not easy to see how the more extreme forms of nationalism can long survive when men have seen the Earth in its true perspective as a single small globe against the stars.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Quote of the Day

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
-- Scott Adams

Monday, May 23, 2011

Quote of the Day

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Quote of the Day

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
-- Aldous Huxley

Friday, May 20, 2011

Quote of the Day

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.
-- Marcus Aurelius

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Quote of the Day

Never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun.
-- Nelson Muntz

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Quote of the Day

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, ummmm, boy.
-- Jack Handey

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Quote of the Day

Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine. I'll go build my own lunar lander. With blackjack. And hookers. In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack! Ah, screw the whole thing.
-- Bender Unit 22

Monday, May 16, 2011

Quote of the Day

It's hard to have a righteous opinion on the environment when you're as selfish and uninformed as I am. On one hand, I'm a cat-loving vegetarian who ought to care deeply about the caribou or koala bears or bats or whatever they have in Alaska. On the other hand, I live in California so I'd be willing to squeeze school children to death if I thought some oil would come out.
-- Scott Adams

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Quote of the Day

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
-- Terry Pratchett (Good Omens)