Sunday, December 31, 2006

Quote of the Day

I knew an Amish girl who was excommunicated: too Mennonite.
-- Emo Philips

Friday, December 29, 2006

Quote of the Day

A free press can of course be good or bad, but, most certainly, without freedom it will never be anything but bad.... Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better, whereas enslavement is a certainty of the worse.
-- Albert Camus

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Quote of the Day

If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.
-- Isaac Asimov

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Quote of the Day

You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.
-- Squidward Tentacles

Monday, December 25, 2006

Quote of the Day

Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
-- Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Quote of the Day

What's another word for thesaurus?
-- Stephen Wright

Friday, December 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it.
-- Cicero

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Quote of the Day

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
-- Jack Handey

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Quote of the Day

I like having the capitol of the United States in Washington, D.C., in spite of recent efforts to move it to Lynchburg, Virginia
-- Frank Zappa

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Quote of the Day

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
-- Douglas Adams

Monday, December 18, 2006

Quote of the Day

Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Quote of the Day

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
-- Douglas Adams

Friday, December 15, 2006

Quote of the Day

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
-- Sir Richard F. Burton

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Quote of the Day

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.
-- Jack Handey

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Quote of the Day

I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
-- Jack Handey

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Quote of the Day

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, December 11, 2006

Quote of the Day

The universe is a strange and wondrous place. The truth is quite odd enough to need no help from pseudoscientific charlatans.
-- Richard Dawkins

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Nordic Tugs

Quote of the Day

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since.
-- Arturo Toscanini

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Quote of the Day

It has never mattered to me that thirty million people might think I'm wrong. The number of people who thought Hitler was right did not make him right... Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?
-- Frank Zappa

Week in Review

- Homer Simpson’s Space-Age Out-of-This-World Moon Waffles
- Friday Random Ten
- Spammers: Bastinado is too good for them
- Reading: _The Road to Reality : A Complete Guide to the Laws of the Universe_
- At least it’s warm in Guantanamo
- Dutch Christmas
- Spammers: Scaphism is too good for them
- Friday Random Ten
- More Boat Blogging
- Experiment or Blog-Whoring?

Friday, December 08, 2006

Quote of the Day

Never hurts to have a second set of prints on a gun.
-- Nelson Muntz

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Quote of the Day

Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed -- but a woman is always a woman.
-- James T. Kirk, "The Conscience of the King", stardate 2818.9

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Quote of the Day

The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
-- H.L. Mencken

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Thomas Dolby: The Sole Inhabitant

Quote of the Day

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Monday, December 04, 2006

Quote of the Day

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.
-- Chinese proverb

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Quote of the Day

You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
-- Eros (Plan 9 from Outer Space)

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Quote of the Day

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
-- Mark Twain

Week in Review

- Spammers: Scaphism is too good for them
- More Boat Blogging
- Experiment or Blog-Whoring?
- Spammers: Abacination is too good for them
- Happy Holidays
- Friday Random Ten
- Happy Thanksgiving
- Mmmm, Mail Order Empty Escargot Shells
- Sounds Dreadful
- 30,000

Friday, December 01, 2006

Quote of the Day

Jazz washes away the dust of every day life.
-- Art Blakey

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Experiment or Blog-Whoring?

(via rlrr)

Short Version: Link to this post in the name of science. Ask others to do the same. Results to be announced during the "Meet the Bloggers" panel at MLA 2006.

OK, I'll play: link

Quote of the Day

We owe it to ourselves as respectable human beings, as thinking human beings, to do what we can to make humanity more rational...Humanists recognize that it is only when people feel free to think for themselves, using reason as their guide, that they are best capable of developing values that succeed in satisfying human needs and serving human interests.
-- Isaac Asimov

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Quote of the Day

This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
-- Charles Montgomery Burns

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Quote of the Day

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."
-- David Letterman

Monday, November 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
-- Stephen Wright

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Quote of the Day

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Friday, November 24, 2006

Quote of the Day

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Quote of the Day

Science offers us an explanation of how complexity (the difficult) arose out of simplicity (the easy). The hypothesis of God offers no worthwhile explanation for anything, for it simply postulates what we are trying to explain.
-- Richard Dawkins

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

The intelligent beings in these regions should therefore not be surprised if they observe that their locality in the universe satisfies the conditions that are necessary for their existence. It is a bit like a rich person living in a wealthy neighborhood not seeing any poverty.
-- Stephen Hawking

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Quote of the Day

I've always said there's nothing an agnostic can't do if he really doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.
-- Monty Python

Monday, November 20, 2006

Quote of the Day

Many a time in the past six years I have bit my tongue so I wouldn't annoy people with the always obnoxious observation, "I told you so." But, dammit it all to hell, I did tell you, and I've been telling you since 1994, and I am so sick of this man and everything he represents -- all the sleazy, smug, self-righteous graft and corruption and "Christian" moralizing and cynicism and tax cuts for all his smug, rich buddies. Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.
-- Molly Ivins

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Quote of the Day

If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.
-- John Stuart Mill

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Quote of the Day

Instead of school busing and prayer in schools, which are both controversial, why not a joint solution? Prayer in buses. Just drive these kids around all day and let them pray their fuckn' empty little heads off.
-- George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Week in Review

- Reading: _Hogfather_
- Friday Random Ten
- Thomas Dolby: The Sole Inhabitant
- 40 Years Ago Today
- bbPress
- Non-Newtonian Fluid Fun
- There’s got to be a limit…
- Friday Thirteen: Metropolis
- Piracy Attack Map
- Spammers: Almost worse than Jim Talent

Friday, November 17, 2006

Quote of the Day

The key to happines is self-delusion.
-- Dogbert

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Quote of the Day

I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.
-- Randal Graves

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Quote of the Day

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
-- Mark Twain

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Quote of the Day

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, November 13, 2006

Quote of the Day

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Quote of the Day

There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Friday, November 10, 2006

Quote of the Day

There are two essential rules of management. One: the customer is always right. Two: they must be punished for their arrogance.
-- Dogbert

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Quote of the Day

Do not trust people. They are capable of greatness.
-- Stanislaw Lem

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Quote of the Day

Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

Monday, November 06, 2006

Quote of the Day

It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice - there are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.
-- Frank Zappa

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Quote of the Day

I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter how dumb my suggestions are.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Friday, November 03, 2006

Quote of the Day

The general root of superstition is that men observe when things hit, and not when they miss, and commit to memory the one, and pass over the other.
-- Sir Francis Bacon

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Quote of the Day

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
-- Bjarne Stroustrup

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Quote of the Day

The idea that an arbitrary naive human should be able to properly use a given tool without training or understanding is even more wrong for computing than it is for other tools (e.g. automobiles, airplanes, guns, power saws).
-- Doug Gwyn

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Quote of the Day

The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, October 30, 2006

Quote of the Day

Step aside, everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Quote of the Day

I sent the club a wire stating, "Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member."
-- Groucho Marx

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Friday, October 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty nights -- or very early mornings -- when I left the Fillmore half-crazy and, instead of going home, aimed the big 650 Lightning across the Bay Bridge at a hundred miles an hour ... booming through the Treasure Island tunnel at the lights of Oakland and Berkeley and Richmond, not quite sure which turnoff to take when I got to the other end ... but being absolutely certain that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were just as high and wild as I was: no doubt at all about that.
-- Hunter S. Thompson

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Quote of the Day

This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke: It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!
-- Homer J. Simpson

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Quote of the Day

Hello. We're the ones who control your lives. We make the decisions that affect all of you. Isn't it interesting to know that those who run your lives would have the nerve to tell you about it in this manner? Suffer, you fools. We know everything you do, and we know where you go. What do you think the cameras are for? And the global-positioning satellites? And the Social Security numbers? You belong to us. And it can't be changed. Sign your petitions, walk your picket lines, bring your lawsuits, cast your votes, and write those stupid letters to whomever you please; you won't change a thing. Because we control your lives. And we have plans for you. Go back to sleep.
-- George Carlin

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Quote of the Day

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre

Mmmm, Preserved Vegetarian

Monday, October 23, 2006

Quote of the Day

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys.
-- The Shoveler

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Quote of the Day

The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos.
-- Stephen Jay Gould

Week in Review

- Friday Random Ten
- Cardinals beat Mets to win National League pennant
- Albert Einstein Online
- Charles Darwin Online
- Spammers: Impaling is too good for them
- Rick Santorum is an Idiot
- People are Stupid, Part V
- I predict it will be awful
- North Korea in the Dark
- Maybe he thought it was a double leap year or something

Friday, October 20, 2006

Quote of the Day

The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they can level mountains, and nobody doubts them.
-- Joseph Campbell

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Quote of the Day

Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't God everywhere?
-- Homer J. Simpson

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

LiveJournal

For what it's worth, here's yet another LiveJournal profile.

Quote of the Day

A cult is a religion with no political power.
-- Tom Wolfe

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Quote of the Day

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, October 16, 2006

Quote of the Day

It is not easy to see how the more extreme forms of nationalism can long survive when men have seen the Earth in its true perspective as a single small globe against the stars.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Quote of the Day

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
-- Albert Einstein

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Quote of the Day

Americans like to talk about (or be told about) Democracy but, when put to the test, usually find it to be an 'inconvenience.' We have opted instead for an authoritarian system disguised as a Democracy. We pay through the nose for an enormous joke-of-a-government, let it push us around, and then wonder how all those assholes got in there.
-- Frank Zappa

Week in Review

- North Korean Dud?
- Friday Random Ten
- Muhahahahaha
- I are an English Genius
- Yet More Fundamentalist Idiocy
- Spammers are all Worthless and Weak
- Turkish Star Trek
- Friday Random Ten
- Microsoft Outlook Award Winner…
- Existentialist Light Bulb Joke

Friday, October 13, 2006

Quote of the Day

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Pray to the MP3 Gods

Quote of the Day

T.V. God, I want porno bloopers!
-- Derek 'Stormy' Waters

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Quote of the Day

When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you can head off your foes with a balanced attack.
-- The Sphinx

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Quote of the Day

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed; they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!
-- Orson Welles

Monday, October 09, 2006

Quote of the Day

Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence.
-- Richard Dawkins

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Quote of the Day

No. Men should die for lies. But the truth is too precious to die for.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

Friday, October 06, 2006

Quote of the Day

Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot;
Or he can, but does not want to;
Or he cannot and does not want to.
If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent.
If he can, but does not want to, he is wicked.
But, if God both can and wants to abolish evil,
Then how come evil in the world?

-- Epicurus

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Quote of the Day

I'm condemned by a society that demands success when all I can offer is failure!
-- Max Bialystock

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Quote of the Day

Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.
-- H.L. Mencken

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Satanic Hair

Quote of the Day

It was the greatest night of my life. I'd been invited to the Captain's Table. I'd only been with the company fourteen years. Six officers and me! They called me "Arnold." We had gazpacho soup for starters. I didn't know gazpacho soup was meant to be served cold. I called over the chef and I told him to take it away and bring it back hot. He did. The looks on their faces still haunt me today! I thought they were laughing at the chef, when all the time, they were laughing at me as I ate my piping hot gazpacho soup. I never ate at the Captain's Table again. That was the end of my career.
-- Arnold Judas Rimmer

Monday, October 02, 2006

Quote of the Day

Wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which piles up first!
-- Crow T. Robot

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Quote of the Day

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.
-- Martin Mull

Friday, September 29, 2006

Quote of the Day

Supermodels usually don't date guys who live in the dirt.
-- The Tick

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Quote of the Day

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
-- Jack Handey

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

The trinitarian believes a virgin to be the mother of a son who is her maker.
-- Sir Francis Bacon

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Quote of the Day

If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, September 25, 2006

Quote of the Day

The future ain't what it used to be.
-- Yogi Berra

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Quote of the Day

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
-- George Carlin

Friday, September 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
-- Rita Rudner

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Quote of the Day

Oh, cruel fate. Why do you mock me?
-- Homer J. Simpson

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Quote of the Day

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
-- Jack Handey

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Quote of the Day

Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
-- Alfred E. Newman

Monday, September 18, 2006

Quote of the Day

Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
-- Zaphod Beeblebrox

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Quote of the Day

I look into the mirror
I see no happiness
All the warmth I gave you
Has turned to emptiness
The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
You've left me here believing
In love that wasn't there

-- Yes

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Friday, September 15, 2006

Quote of the Day

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.
-- James Blish

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Quote of the Day

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
-- Frank Zappa

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Quote of the Day

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
-- Jack Handey

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Quote of the Day

Hello. We're the ones who control your lives. We make the decisions that affect all of you. Isn't it interesting to know that those who run your lives would have the nerve to tell you about it in this manner? Suffer, you fools. We know everything you do, and we know where you go. What do you think the cameras are for? And the global-positioning satellites? And the Social Security numbers? You belong to us. And it can't be changed. Sign your petitions, walk your picket lines, bring your lawsuits, cast your votes, and write those stupid letters to whomever you please; you won't change a thing. Because we control your lives. And we have plans for you. Go back to sleep.
-- George Carlin

Monday, September 11, 2006

Quote of the Day

If only more Christians read their bibles there'd be less Christians.
-- Derek W. Clayton

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Quote of the Day

Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
-- Bob & Ray

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Quote of the Day

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
-- Jack Handey

Week in Review

- Friday Random Ten
- Thomas Dolby Interviewed on Green Arrow Radio
- Everybody Wai Fung Tonight
- Joe Lieberman has been assimilated
- Get the Current Hour in Batch files
- The Future of Education in America?
- Happy Labor Day
- DCA World Championships - Rochester, NY
- Jim Talent: Spammer
- Friday Random Ten

Friday, September 08, 2006

Quote of the Day

Unix is the worst operating system; except for all others.
-- Berry Kercheval

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Quote of the Day

Booze takes a dull party and makes it better!
-- Joel Robinson

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Quote of the Day

In the old days villains had moustaches and kicked the dog. Audiences are smarter today. They don't want their villain to be thrown at them with green limelight on his face. They want an ordinary human being with failings.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Mmmm, Dudweiser

Quote of the Day

Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon

Monday, September 04, 2006

Quote of the Day

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
-- George Carlin

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Quote of the Day

Jazz is a mental attitude rather than a style. It uses a certain process of the mind expressed spontaneously through some musical instrument. I'm concerned with retaining that process.
-- Bill Evans

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Quote of the Day

The man who worships a tyrant in heaven naturally submits his neck to the yoke of tyrants on earth.
-- George W. Foote, Flowers of Freethought

Week in Review

- Jim Talent: Spammer
- Friday Random Ten
- Good News!
- Geeky Humor
- Number 11?
- Guess what was missing from the Smart Grant list?
- Katherine Harris
- 2002 Chicago Royal Airs
- Boat Blogging
- 15 Years of Linux

Friday, September 01, 2006

Quote of the Day

I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'what if life *were* fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.
-- Marcus Cole (Babylon 5)

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Quote of the Day

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.
-- Kilgore Trout

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Quote of the Day

What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?
-- The Doctor

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Quote of the Day

On the other hand, you have different fingers...
-- Steven Wright

Monday, August 28, 2006

Quote of the Day

Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
-- Frank Zappa

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
-- Rich Kulawiec

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Quote of the Day

Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history, dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and whomped the club into the sloping forehead of the first primitive umpire.

What inner force drove this first athlete? Your guess is as good as mine. Better, probably, because you haven't had four beers.

-- Dave Barry, "Sports is a Drag"

Week in Review

- 15 Years of Linux
- Friday Random Ten
- Stupid Science Reporting
- Spam from Senator Jim Talent
- I’ve had it with these mother f#$king snakes on this mother f#$king plane!
- Onkyo MP-1000J
- Pascal’s Wager Revisited
- I’ll believe it when I see it
- New URL
- Mmmm, Squid Chunks

Friday, August 25, 2006

Quote of the Day

Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy.
-- Frank Zappa

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Quote of the Day

The foundation of morality should not be made dependent on myth nor tied to any authority lest doubt about the myth or about the legitimacy of the authority imperil the foundation of sound judgment and action.
-- Albert Einstein

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Beware of Safety

Quote of the Day

Don't mess with the volcano my man, 'cause I will go Pompeii on your... butt.
-- Mr. Furious

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
-- Douglas Adams

Monday, August 21, 2006

Quote of the Day

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
-- Frank Zappa

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Quote of the Day

You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!
-- Max Bialystock

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Mmmm, Fatty cow in the United States in dad in sand in

Quote of the Day

The level of awe that you get by contemplating the modern scientific view of the universe: deep time (by which I mean geological time), deep space, and what you could call deep complexity, living things..... that level of awe is just orders of magnitude greater and more awe-inspiring than the sort of pokey medieval world-view which the church still actually has. I mean, they sort of pay lip-service to the scientific world-view, but if you listen to what they say on Thought For The Day [a religious program on BBC Radio] and things like that, it is medieval. It's a small world, a small universe, with the sky up there, very little advance since that time. So I yield to nobody in my awe for the universe and for life, but I also have a deep desire to understand it, in terms of what makes it work, what makes it tick, and not to take refuge in spurious non-explanations like "I just believe it because I believe it," that sort of thing.
-- Richard Dawkins, interview with Douglas Adams

Week in Review

- What if Operating Systems Were Airlines?
- Friday Random Ten
- Arrrrrr! All spammers should be forced to walk the plank
- The aliens don’t like Internet Explorer
- The Post of the Beast
- The Stupid Rays, They Hurt Us!
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has a Blog
- DCI World Championships - Madison, WI
- Spammers: Annoying and Absolutely Worthless
- Aaaaagh!

Friday, August 18, 2006

Quote of the Day

echo $package has manual pages available in source form.
echo "However, you don't have nroff, so they're probably useless to you."

-- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Quote of the Day

Science has 'explained' nothing; the more we know the more fantastic the world becomes and the profounder the surrounding darkness.
-- Aldous Huxley

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Enough Nutrition

Quote of the Day

It is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatsoever for supposing it is true.
-- Bertrand Russell

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Quote of the Day

We've got a blind date with Destiny -- and it looks like she's ordered the lobster.
-- The Shoveler

Monday, August 14, 2006

Quote of the Day

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
-- David Letterman

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Quote of the Day

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
-- Mark Twain

Friday, August 11, 2006

Quote of the Day

Sad preacher nailed upon the coloured door of time;
Insane teacher be there reminded of the rhyme.
There'll be no mutant enemy we shall certify;
Political ends, as sad remains, will die.
Reach out as forward tastes begin to enter you.

-- Yes

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Quote of the Day

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."
-- Jack Handey

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Quote Links

Mmmm, Deeppresso

Quote of the Day

In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Quote of the Day

Unix is hard to learn. The process of learning it is one of multiple small epiphanies. Typically you are just on the verge of inventing some necessary tool or utility when you realize that someone else has already invented it, and built it in, and this explains some odd file or directory or command that you have noticed but never really understood before.
-- Neal Stephenson

Monday, August 07, 2006

Quote of the Day

He wrapped himself in quotations- as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors.
-- Rudyard Kipling

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Quote of the Day

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.
-- Wavy Gravy

Friday, August 04, 2006

Quote of the Day

The great nations have always acted like gangsters and the small nations like prostitutes.
-- Stanley Kubrick

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Quote of the Day

A plumbing system is very much like your electrical system, except that instead of electricity, it has water, and instead of wires, it has pipes, and instead of radios and waffle irons, it has faucets and toilets. So the truth is that your plumbing systems is nothing at all like your electrical system, which is good, because electricity can kill you.
-- Dave Barry

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Quote of the Day

Oh, No. I'm being hassled in the street by a chick.
-- Neil Pye

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Quote of the Day

Everyone is entitled to an informed opinion.
-- Harlan Ellison

Monday, July 31, 2006

Quote of the Day

You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste.
-- Charles Montgomery Burns

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Quote of the Day

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)

Friday, July 28, 2006

Quote of the Day

All things dull and ugly, all creatures short and squat;
All things rude and nasty, the Lord God made the lot.
Each little snake that poisons, each little wasp that stings;
He made their brutish venom, He made their horrid wings.
All things sick and cancerous, all evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous, the Lord God made them all.
Each nasty little hornet, each beastly little squid.
Who made the spiky urchin? Who made the shark? He did.
All things scabbed and ulcerous, all pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous, The Lord God made them all. Amen.

-- Monty Python

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Mmmm, Buger

Quote of the Day

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!
-- Homer J. Simpson

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Quote of the Day

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
-- Douglas Adams

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Quote of the Day

The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question.
-- Stephen Jay Gould

Monday, July 24, 2006

Quote of the Day

I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing...
-- Thomas Jefferson

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-- Albert Einstein

Friday, July 21, 2006

Quote of the Day

Creationist critics often charge that evolution cannot be tested, and therefore cannot be viewed as a properly scientific subject at all. This claim is rhetorical nonsense.
-- Stephen Jay Gould, Dinosaur in a Haystack

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Quote of the Day

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
-- Groucho Marx

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Quote of the Day

Wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which piles up first!
-- Crow T. Robot

Monday, July 17, 2006

Quote of the Day

Alone! I'm alone! I'm a lonely, insignificant speck on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!
-- Homer J. Simpson

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Quote of the Day

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Quote of the Day

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
-- Albert Einstein

Friday, July 14, 2006

Quote of the Day

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Mmmm, Chilled Walter

Quote of the Day

The argument that the literal story of Genesis can qualify as science collapses on three major grounds: the creationists' need to invoke miracles in order to compress the events of the earth's history into the biblical span of a few thousand years; their unwillingness to abandon claims clearly disproved, including the assertion that all fossils are products of Noah's flood; and their reliance upon distortion, misquote, half-quote, and citation out of context to characterize the ideas of their opponents.
-- Stephen Jay Gould ("The Verdict on Creationism", The Skeptical Inquirer, Winter 87/88, pg. 186)

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Quote of the Day

Blasphemy is an epithet bestowed by superstition upon common sense.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Quote of the Day

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
-- Homer J. Simpson

Monday, July 10, 2006

Quote of the Day

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Quote of the Day

It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.
-- David Brin

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Quote of the Day

No proper program contains an indication which as an operator-applied occurrence identifies an operator-defining occurrence which as an indication-applied occurrence identifies an indication-defining occurrence different from the one identified by the given indication as an indication-applied occurrence.
-- ALGOL 68 Report

Friday, July 07, 2006

Quote of the Day

Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
-- Ian Faith

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Quote of the Day

I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.
-- Jack Handey

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Quote of the Day

For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
-- Richard P. Feynman

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Quote of the Day

You can tell how far we have to go, when FORTRAN is the language of supercomputers.
-- Steven Feiner

Monday, July 03, 2006

Quote of the Day

Whether they find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Roots of human family tree are shallow

Or maybe not.

It's closed...

Quote of the Day

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
-- Aldous Huxley

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Rush Limbaugh

A Question for Rush Limbaugh

Quote of the Day

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.
-- Hunter S. Thompson

Friday, June 30, 2006

Quote of the Day

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.
-- Dr. Evil

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Quote of the Day

There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
-- Randal Graves

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Quote of the Day

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

Once again, your stupidity has killed us!
-- Marco Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar Diego Garcia Marquez

Monday, June 26, 2006

Quote of the Day

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Quote of the Day

A lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math. That's why I like them. If we could find a way to tax people who are bad at English, science and history I'd be a happy camper.
-- Dana Blankenhorn

Yet Another Web Log

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Quote of the Day

Ned... have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
-- Reverend Timothy Lovejoy

Friday, June 23, 2006

Quote of the Day

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up.
-- Bob Uecker

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?
-- Frank Zappa

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Quote of the Day

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Quote of the Day

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.
-- Albert Einstein

Monday, June 19, 2006

Quote of the Day

It has become almost a cliche to remark that nobody boasts of ignorance of literature, but it is socially acceptable to boast ignorance of science.
-- Richard Dawkins

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Quote of the Day

There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves.
-- Jack Handey

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Quote of the Day

Hot on the heels of its magnanimous pardoning of Galileo, the Vatican has now moved with even more lightning speed to recognise the truth of Darwinism.
-- Richard Dawkins

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Quote of the Day

Saliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
-- George Carlin

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

B.C.

Quote of the Day

If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.
-- I. F. Stone

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Office Slang

404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, '404 Not Found,' which means the document requested couldn't be located. 'Don't bother asking John. He's 404.'

Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. 'I dunno, ask Rick. He's our alpha geek.'

Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Batmobiling - putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in 'she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling'

Beepilepsy - The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.

Betamaxed - When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in 'Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market'

Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Blowing Your Buffer - Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. 'Damn, I just blew my buffer!' (Synonym: 'Head Crash')

Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Bookmark - To take note of a person for future reference. 'After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him.'

Brain Fart - A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; a burst of useful information. 'I know you're busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?' Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.

CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Chip Jewelry - Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. 'I paid three grand for that Mac and now it's nothing but chip jewelry.'

Chips and Salsa - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. 'First we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa.'

CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. 'Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.'

Cobweb - A WWW site that never changes.

Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. 'I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!'

CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.....

Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.

Dead Tree Edition - The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms.

Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss, as is Dilbert, the comic strip character. 'Damn, I've been dilberted again! The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.'

Dorito Syndrome - The feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. 'I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome.'

Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one's own name.

Elvis Year - The peak year of popularity as in '1993 was Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year'

Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.

Generica - Fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in 'we were so lost in generica that I couldn't remember what city it was'

Glazing - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. 'Didn't he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?'

Going Postal - Totally stressed out and losing it like postal employees who went on shooting rampages

GOOD job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Gray Matter - Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms trying to appear more professional and established.

Graybar Land - The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). 'That CAD rendering put me in graybar land for like an hour.'

High Dome - Egghead, scientist, PhD

Idea Hamsters - People whose idea generators are always running.

Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

It's a Feature - From the old adage, 'It's not a bug, it's a feature.' Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant problem you wish to gloss over.

Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people's computer keyboards.

Link Rot - The process by which web page's links become obsolete as the sites they're connected to change or die.

Meatspace - The physical world (as opposed to the virtual) also 'carbon community' 'facetime' 'F2F' 'RL'

Mouse Potato - The online generation's answer to the couch potato.

Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you've just made a terrible error.

Open-Collar Workers - People who work at home or telecommute.

Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Perot - To quit unexpectedly. 'My cellular phone just perot'ed.'

Plug-and-Play - A new hire who doesn't require training. 'That new guy is totally plug-and-play.'

Prairie Dogging - When something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see what's going on.

Ribs 'N' Dick - A budget with no fat as in 'we've got ribs 'n' dick and we're supposed to find 20K for memory upgrades'

Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. 'God, today was a total salmon day!'

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.

Siliwood - The coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and computers; also 'Hollywired'

SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. 'Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage'

Square-Headed Spouse - Computer

Squirt the Bird - To transmit a signal up to a satellite. 'Crew and talent are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?'

Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy - A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.

Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.

Tourists - Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. 'There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.'

Treeware - Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, 'this is Dale, my...um...friend.'

Under Mouse Arrest - Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. 'Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.'

Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.

Vulcan Nerve Pinch - The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.

WOOFYS - Well Off Older Folks.

World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW.

Xerox Subsidy - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

Yuppie Food Coupons - Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.

Imaginary Friend

Woman is Changeable

...or something like that.

Quote of the Day

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, June 12, 2006

Another Flow Chart

Quote of the Day

Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
-- Kent Brockman

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Problem Solving Flowsheet

Quote of the Day

That chill, my young non-friend, is probably the cold breath of the reaper breathing down your neck.
-- Captain Hazel 'Hank' Murphy

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Quote of the Day

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright

Friday, June 09, 2006

Quote of the Day

Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved with bending.
-- Bender Unit 22

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Quote of the Day

Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Quote of the Day

To be a persecuted genius, you not only have to be persecuted, you also have to be right.
-- Isaac Asimov

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Quote of the Day

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Monday, June 05, 2006

Quote of the Day

If automobiles had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
-- Robert X. Cringeley

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Quote of the Day

Science offers us an explanation of how complexity (the difficult) arose out of simplicity (the easy). The hypothesis of God offers no worthwhile explanation for anything, for it simply postulates what we are trying to explain.
-- Richard Dawkins

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Quote of the Day

I'm not impressed by what college your kid is going to. George Bush went to Yale. The End.
-- Bill Maher

Friday, June 02, 2006

Quote of the Day

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
-- Albert Einstein

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Quote of the Day

You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.
-- The Sphinx

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Quote of the Day

The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
-- Harlan Ellison

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Quote of the Day

The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are drifting side by side to our common doom.
-- Clarence Darrow

Monday, May 29, 2006

Mmmm, Sauteed Happy Family

Quote of the Day

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
-- George Orwell

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Quote of the Day

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
-- Steven Wright

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.
-- Peter Ustinov

Friday, May 26, 2006

Maybe I do...

Quote of the Day

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
-- Stephen Wright

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Quote of the Day

The intelligent beings in these regions should therefore not be surprised if they observe that their locality in the universe satisfies the conditions that are necessary for their existence. It is a bit like a rich person living in a wealthy neighborhood not seeing any poverty.
-- Stephen Hawking

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Quote of the Day

If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Quote of the Day

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
-- Jack Handey

Monday, May 22, 2006

Quote of the Day

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
-- Mark Twain

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Quote of the Day

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
-- Rita Rudner

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Quote of the Day

Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.
-- Emo Philips

Friday, May 19, 2006

Quote of the Day

You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religion.... Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, quite intelligent enough.
-- Aldous Huxley

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Fundamentalist Idiocy

Quote of the Day

Don't start an argument with somebody who has a microphone when you don't. They'll make you look like chopped liver.
-- Harlan Ellison

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Quote of the Day

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
-- Groucho Marx

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Quote of the Day

I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.
-- Randal Graves

Monday, May 15, 2006

Quote of the Day

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.
-- Jack Handey

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Quote of the Day

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.
-- Gore Vidal

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Quote of the Day

I have something to say to the religionist who feels atheists never say anything positive: You are an intelligent human being. Your life is valuable for its own sake. You are not second-class in the universe, deriving meaning and purpose from some other mind. You are not inherently evil--you are inherently human, possessing the positive rational potential to help make this a world of morality, peace and joy. Trust yourself.
-- Dan Barker, Losing Faith in Faith