The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
-- William Shakespeare (The Merchant of Venice)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Quote of the Day
Monday, August 30, 2010
Quote of the Day
All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.
-- Carl Sagan
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Quote of the Day
The first Great Steward, Parrafin the Climber, was employed in King Chloroplast's kitchen as second scullery boy when the old King met a tragic death. He apparently fell backward by accident on a dozen salad forks. Simultaneously the true heir, his son Carotene, mysteriously fled the city, complaining of some sort of plot and a lot of threatening notes left on his breakfast tray. At the time, this looked suspicious what with his father's death, and Carotene was suspected of foul play. Then the rest of the King's relatives began to drop dead one after the other in an odd fashion. Some were found strangled with dishrags and some succumbed to food poisoning. A few were found drowned in the soup vats, and one was attacked by assailants unknown and beaten to death with a pot roast. At least three appear to have thrown themselves backward on salad forks, perhaps in a noble gesture of grief over the King's untimely end. Finally there was no one left in Minas Troney wh o was either eligible or willing to wear the accursed crown, and the rule of Twodor was up for grabs. The scullery slave Parrafin bravely accepted the Stewardship of Twodor until that day when a lineal descendant of Carotene's returns to reclaim his rightful throne, conquer Twodor's enemies, and revamp the postal system.
-- Harvard Lampoon (Bored of the Rings)
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Quote of the Day
Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Quote of the Day
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
-- Emo Philips
Monday, August 23, 2010
Quote of the Day
Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Quote of the Day
As long as people are still having premartial sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!
-- Austin Powers
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Quote of the Day
Probably the most difficult thing in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil. Other than that, it's been a good day.
-- Emo Philips
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Quote of the Day
Hey, wouldn't it be terrible if we ended up having to eat each other? Like those sailors did in that film, um..."We Ended Up Having To Eat Each Other."
-- Neil Pye
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Quote of the Day
The level of awe that you get by contemplating the modern scientific view of the universe: deep time (by which I mean geological time), deep space, and what you could call deep complexity, living things..... that level of awe is just orders of magnitude greater and more awe-inspiring than the sort of pokey medieval world-view which the church still actually has. I mean, they sort of pay lip-service to the scientific world-view, but if you listen to what they say on Thought For The Day [a religious program on BBC Radio] and things like that, it is medieval. It's a small world, a small universe, with the sky up there, very little advance since that time. So I yield to nobody in my awe for the universe and for life, but I also have a deep desire to understand it, in terms of what makes it work, what makes it tick, and not to take refuge in spurious non-explanations like "I just believe it because I believe it," that sort of thing.
-- Richard Dawkins, intervi ew with Douglas Adams
Monday, August 16, 2010
Quote of the Day
Why did this have to happen now, during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?
-- Homer J. Simpson
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Quote of the Day
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
-- Jack Handey
Friday, August 13, 2010
Quote of the Day
Carob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of fats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture. Of course, the same can be said of dirt.
-- Sandra Boynton
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Quote of the Day
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-- Richard Dawkins
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, August 09, 2010
Quote of the Day
I love timbersports! They combine the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, and the threat of amputation!
-- Stephen Colbert (via Twitter)
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Quote of the Day
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
-- Mark Twain
Friday, August 06, 2010
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Quote of the Day
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."
-- Jack Handey
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Quote of the Day
America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain... well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Monday, August 02, 2010
Quote of the Day
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Quote of the Day
Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.
-- Douglas Adams
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