Thursday, April 30, 2009

Quote of the Day

A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.
-- Jack Handey

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Quote of the Day

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.
-- Bertrand Russell

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Quote of the Day

Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster. It's a common misconception, held by all truly stupid people.
-- Kryten 2X4B 523P

Monday, April 27, 2009

Quote of the Day

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
-- Scott Adams

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Quote of the Day

I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter how dumb my suggestions are.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Quote of the Day

I wanted to go to college, so I went to my dad and said, "Dad, can I have a hundred thousand dollars to go to college?" And he said, "Go ask your mother", so I went to her and said "Can I have a hundred thousand to go to college?" And she said, "Ask you father", so I went to him and said "Can I have a hundred thousand?" And he said "Ask your mother." And as I was going to my mother I tripped and hit my head on the coffee table, and my mother said "Fifteen-love, my serve again."
-- Emo Philips

Week in Review

- Friday Random Ten: 2009-04-24
- EUROMILLONS LOTTERY
- Liar or just stupid?
- A Gathering Storm
- Reading: _Soul Music_
- Friday Random Ten: 2009-04-17
- 240,000
- Reminds me of an episode of _Star Trek_
- Is Todd Akin a Teabagger?
- April 15

Friday, April 24, 2009

Quote of the Day

Don't start an argument with somebody who has a microphone when you don't. They'll make you look like chopped liver.
-- Harlan Ellison

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Quote of the Day

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
-- Terry Pratchett (Jingo)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Quote of the Day

Another war ... must it always be so? How many comrades have we lost in this way? ... Obedience. Duty. Death, and more death ...
-- Romulan Commander, "Balance of Terror", stardate 1709.2

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Quote of the Day

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra, which suddenly flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening (Love is Hell)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Quote of the Day

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Quote of the Day

Have you ever wondered what makes Californians so calm? Besides drugs, I mean. The answer is hot tubs. A hot tub is a redwood container filled with water that you sit in naked with members of the opposite sex, none of whom is necessarily your spouse. After a few hours in their hot tubs, Californians don't give a damn about earthquakes or mass murderers. They don't give a damn about anything , which is why they are able to produce Laverne and Shirley week after week.
-- Dave Barry, The Taming of the Screw

Friday, April 17, 2009

Quote of the Day

I look into the mirror
I see no happiness
All the warmth I gave you
Has turned to emptiness
The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
You've left me here believing
In love that wasn't there

-- Yes

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Quote of the Day

Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Quote of the Day

This item demonstrates how stupid the average American is. Every ninety minutes someone in this country is hit by a train. A train, okay? Trains are on tracks; they can't come and get you. They can't surprise you when you step off a curb. You have to go to them. Got that?
-- George Carlin

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Quote of the Day

There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it.
-- Cicero

Monday, April 13, 2009

Quote of the Day

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
-- W. Somerset Maugham, his last words

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Quote of the Day

Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."
-- Jack Handey

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Friday, April 10, 2009

Quote of the Day

What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
-- Dave Barry

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Quote of the Day

There comes a time in the affairs of a man when he has to take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
-- W. C. Fields

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Quote of the Day

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Quote of the Day

I can imagine no greater misfortune for a cultured people than to see in the hands of the rulers not only the civil, but also the religious power.
-- Caius Valerius Catullus

Monday, April 06, 2009

Quote of the Day

Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved with bending.
-- Bender Unit 22

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Quote of the Day

Mmmm, sacrilicious.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Quote of the Day

Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine. I'll go build my own lunar lander. With blackjack. And hookers. In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack! Ah, screw the whole thing.
-- Bender Unit 22

Week in Review

- Frank Zappa’s Drummers
- Friday Random Ten: 2009-04-03
- Mythbusters save the auto industry!
- Reading: _The Annotated Hobbit_
- Another sign of the times
- Going Galt
- Friday Random Ten: 2009-03-27
- My hovercraft is full of eels
- Hyperactive!
- I may need a new irony meter

Friday, April 03, 2009

Quote of the Day

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke", but to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
-- Jack Handey

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Quote of the Day

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Quote of the Day

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.
-- James Blish