Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Quote of the Day
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-- Umberto Eco
Monday, February 27, 2006
Quote of the Day
Nationalism is an infantile sickness. It is the measles of the human race.
-- Albert Einstein
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Quote of the Day
A free press can of course be good or bad, but, most certainly, without freedom it will never be anything but bad.... Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better, whereas enslavement is a certainty of the worse.
-- Albert Camus
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Quote of the Day
I can imagine no greater misfortune for a cultured people than to see in the hands of the rulers not only the civil, but also the religious power.
-- Caius Valerius Catullus
Friday, February 24, 2006
Quote of the Day
And thank you most of all for nuclear power, which is yet to cause a single proven fatality, at least in this country.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Quote of the Day
I would recommend that skeptics devote even more effort than they do now to understanding the reasons why so many people want or need to believe.
-- Murray Gell-Mann
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Quote of the Day
It had never occurred to me before that music and thinking are so much alike. In fact you could say music is another way of thinking, or maybe thinking is another kind of music.
-- Ursula K. Le Guin
Monday, February 20, 2006
Quote of the Day
I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
-- Police Chief Clancy Wiggum
Sunday, February 19, 2006
78,498 Prime Numbers
- 1 < prime numbers < 100,000
- 100,000 < prime numbers < 200,000
- 200,000 < prime numbers < 300,000
- 300,000 < prime numbers < 400,000
- 400,000 < prime numbers < 500,000
- 500,000 < prime numbers < 600,000
- 600,000 < prime numbers < 700,000
- 700,000 < prime numbers < 800,000
- 800,000 < prime numbers < 900,000
- 900,000 < prime numbers < 1,000,000
Quote of the Day
It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.
-- David Brin
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Quote of the Day
Are you correcting me? Don't correct me! I'm a Pantera's box you do NOT want to open!
-- Mr. Furious
Friday, February 17, 2006
Quote of the Day
Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.
-- Boomhauer
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Quote of the Day
If we have learned one thing from the history of invention and discovery, it is that, in the long run - and often in the short one - the most daring prophecies seem laughably conservative.
-- Arthur C. Clarke
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Quote of the Day
"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God."
"I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be."
-- Joseph Heller, Catch-22
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
Quote of the Day
When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues.
-- Honore de Balzac
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Quote of the Day
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"
-- Quentin Crisp
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Quote of the Day
The great nations have always acted like gangsters and the small nations like prostitutes.
-- Stanley Kubrick
Friday, February 10, 2006
Quote of the Day
I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
-- Dave Barry
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Quote of the Day
You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!
-- Max Bialystock
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Quote of the Day
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Quote of the Day
There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves.
-- Jack Handey
Monday, February 06, 2006
Quote of the Day
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.
-- Bertrand Russell
Sunday, February 05, 2006
How to be Annoying Online
- Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble pinion) or RTFM(read the fucking manual) to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explainwhat they stand for ("You don't know that? RTFM").
- WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!
- When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your "creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away.
- Software and files offered online are often "compressed" so that they won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like "Thanks."
- Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like "SexyHousewivesI," then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons.
- Join a discussion group and tie whatever's being discussed back to an unrelated central theme. For instance, if you're in a discussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observation that those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an important role. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased as people write you threatening messages and instruct others to ignore you.
Quote of the Day
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Friday, February 03, 2006
Rachael Ray Drinking Game
| Sayings: | |
| "EVOO" | 1 drink |
| "Sammie" | 1 drink |
| "Healthful" | 1 drink |
| "Stoup" | 2 drinks |
| "GB" | 2 drinks |
| "Spoonula" | 2 drinks |
| "Fry-o-lator" | 3 drinks |
| any of the above followed by an explanation of what it stands for | +1 drink |
| "Yummo" | 1 drink |
| "Delish!" | 1 drink |
| "Awesome" | 1 drink |
| "How _____ is that?" | 1 drink |
| creates an all-new and completely unnecessary abbreviation | whole drink |
| "Garbage Bowl" | 1 drink |
| "Garbage Bowl" as a verb | 3 drinks |
| Presentation: | |
| repeats herself | 1 drink |
| talks for so long without taking a breath that she nearly runs out of air | 2 drinks |
| makes an awkward, spastic gesture with her arm | 2 drinks |
| voice cracks | 2 drinks |
| forces a laugh at something not funny | 2 drinks |
| mispronounces "foreign" words such as "paprika" or "tapas" | 2 drinks |
| is visibly flustered | 3 drinks |
| Cooking: | |
| comes back from refrigerator carrying too many ingredients | 2 drinks |
| drops something on her way back | whole drink |
| fails to provide a measurement and tells you to "eyeball it" | 1 drink |
| provides an obviously wrong measurement, e.g. "about a tablespoon" while she dumps in a half-cup of something | 2 drinks |
| uses a "secret ingredient" | 2 drinks |
| the "secret ingredient" is nutmeg | 3 drinks |
| mentions "the thing that makes you go Hmmm" | 1 drink |
| "the thing that makes you go Hmmm" is nutmeg | 3 drinks |
| creates a "healthful" meal that clearly contains over 50g of fat | 2 drinks |
| makes a "gourmet" dish out of cheap ingredients (e.g. Tiramisu with nilla wafers and whipped cream) | 3 drinks |
| expresses how good something tastes while she's still lifting fork to her mouth | 2 drinks |
| takes such a big mouthful of something it takes several seconds before she can talk again | 2 drinks |
| ruins something and tries to play it off as no big deal | 3 drinks |
| Travelling: | |
| leaves a crappy tip | 2 drinks |
| rudely shoves her nose in something to smell it | 2 drinks |
| claims a dessert by itself is somehow a legitimate lunch or dinner | 2 drinks |
| wears anything midriff-revealing | 3 drinks |
Quote of the Day
This restaurant was advertising breakfast any time. So I ordered french toast in the renaissance.
-- Stephen Wright
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Quote of the Day
When people learn no tools of judgment and merely follow their hopes, the seeds of political manipulation are sown.
-- Stephen Jay Gould
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Quote of the Day
Alone! I'm alone! I'm a lonely, insignificant speck on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!
-- Homer J. Simpson
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