Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
-- Jack Handey
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Quote of the Day
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Quote of the Day
On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
-- George Orwell
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Quote of the Day
I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me.
-- Jack Handey
Monday, September 27, 2010
Quote of the Day
In certain kinds of writing, particularly in art criticism and literary criticism, it is normal to come across long passages which are almost completely lacking in meaning.
-- George Orwell
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Quote of the Day
Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
-- Aldous Huxley
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Quote of the Day
Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.
-- Calvin Trillin
Week in Review
Friday, September 24, 2010
Quote of the Day
Christians, it is needless to say, utterly detest each other. They slander each other constantly with the vilest forms of abuse and cannot come to any sort of agreement in their teaching. Each sect brands its own, fills the head of its own with deceitful nonsense, and makes perfect little pigs of those it wins over to its side.
-- Celsus (2nd Century C.E.)
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Quote of the Day
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
-- Jack Handey
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Quote of the Day
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Quote of the Day
Remember, Information is not knowledge; Knowledge is not Wisdom; Wisdom is not truth; Truth is not beauty; Beauty is not love; Love is not music; Music is the best.
-- Frank Zappa
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Quote of the Day
The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.
-- Wavy Gravy
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Quote of the Day
If only is was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.
-- Diogenes the Cynic
Friday, September 17, 2010
Quote of the Day
All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money back by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Quote of the Day
It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
-- Terry Pratchett (Jingo)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Quote of the Day
The forceps of our minds are clumsy forceps, and crush the truth a little in taking hold of it.
-- H.G. Wells
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Quote of the Day
It's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.
-- Derek Smalls
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Week in Review
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Quote of the Day
I think I might wear my MC Hammer trousers today. They enable me to move sideways at alarming speeds and provide commodious ball comfort.
-- Simon Pegg (via Twitter)
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Quote of the Day
The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.
-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Quote of the Day
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
-- Jack Handey
Monday, September 06, 2010
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Quote of the Day
The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal. They're about getting ratings, about making money, about doing stories that are easy to cover.
-- Al Franken
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Quote of the Day
Never have I encountered such foul, mindless perversity! Have you considered a career in the church?
-- Bishop of Bath and Wells (Blackadder II)
Friday, September 03, 2010
Quote of the Day
The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
-- Bertrand Russell
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Quote of the Day
She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
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