Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can't be beat.
-- Dizzy Dean
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Quote of the Day
Monday, March 30, 2020
Quote of the Day
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
-- Jack Handey
Sunday, March 29, 2020
Quote of the Day
Someday, I want to go to a site that proclaims a miracle and see a real miracle, like a pie miraculously floating above my keyboard, or a MySpace page that doesn't look like technicolor vomit.
-- PZ Myers
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Friday, March 27, 2020
Quote of the Day
There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Quote of the Day
Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.
-- Peter Ustinov
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
Quote of the Day
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication.
-- Groucho Marx
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Quote of the Day
Strippers do nothing for me... but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.
-- Ron Swanson
Monday, March 23, 2020
Sunday, March 22, 2020
Quote of the Day
If only more Christians read their bibles there'd be less Christians.
-- Derek W. Clayton
Saturday, March 21, 2020
Quote of the Day
Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine. I'll go build my own lunar lander. With blackjack. And hookers. In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack! Ah, screw the whole thing.
-- Bender Unit 22
Friday, March 20, 2020
Quote of the Day
Yep. My ex-wife Tammy cheated on me, then we divorced, then last week I ran into her sister Beth here; turns out she hates Tammy too, so we started dating. It's like a fairy tale!
-- Ron Swanson
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Quote of the Day
It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.
-- Harry S. Truman
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
Quote of the Day
What I mean (and everybody else means) by the word QUALITY cannot be broken down into subjects and predicates. This is not because Quality is so mysterious but because Quality is so simple, immediate, and direct.
-- R. Pirsig (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance)
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Quote of the Day
The world and the universe is an extremely beautiful place, and the more we understand about it the more beautiful does it appear.
-- Richard Dawkins
Monday, March 16, 2020
Quote of the Day
Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Quote of the Day
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
Saturday, March 14, 2020
Quote of the Day
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
-- Mark Twain
Friday, March 13, 2020
Thursday, March 12, 2020
Quote of the Day
You have just destroyed one model XQJ-37 nuclear powered pansexual roto-plooker....and you're gonna have to pay for it.
-- Frank Zappa
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Quote of the Day
History began on July 4, 1776. Everything that happened before that was a mistake.
-- Ron Swanson
Tuesday, March 10, 2020
Quote of the Day
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
-- Douglas Adams
Monday, March 09, 2020
Quote of the Day
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Sunday, March 08, 2020
Quote of the Day
Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!
-- Captain Ahab (Moby Dick)
Saturday, March 07, 2020
Quote of the Day
Nationalism is an infantile sickness. It is the measles of the human race.
-- Albert Einstein
Friday, March 06, 2020
Quote of the Day
In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."
-- Mark Twain
Thursday, March 05, 2020
Wednesday, March 04, 2020
Quote of the Day
Why isn't there a name for the meal between breakfast and brunch?
-- Stephen Colbert (via Twitter)
Tuesday, March 03, 2020
Quote of the Day
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
-- Eros (Plan 9 from Outer Space)
Monday, March 02, 2020
Sunday, March 01, 2020
Quote of the Day
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.
-- Philip K. Dick
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