What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?
-- The Doctor
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Quote of the Day
Hey, wouldn't it be terrible if we ended up having to eat each other? Like those sailors did in that film, um..."We Ended Up Having To Eat Each Other."
-- Neil Pye
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Quote of the Day
You never see animals going through the absurd and often horrible fooleries of magic and religion.... Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, quite intelligent enough.
-- Aldous Huxley
Monday, June 27, 2011
Quote of the Day
If only more Christians read their bibles there'd be less Christians.
-- Derek W. Clayton
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Quote of the Day
The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.
-- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Quote of the Day
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
-- Dick Brandon
Friday, June 24, 2011
Quote of the Day
Most of what we strive for in our modern life uses the apparatus of goal seeking that was originally set up to seek goals in the state of nature.
-- Richard Dawkins
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Quote of the Day
In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.
-- Mark Twain
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Quote of the Day
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed; they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!
-- Orson Welles
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Quote of the Day
And thank you most of all for nuclear power, which is yet to cause a single proven fatality, at least in this country.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Monday, June 20, 2011
Quote of the Day
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
-- Siddhartha Gautama
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Quote of the Day
I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners.
-- Berkeley Breathed
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Quote of the Day
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-- Douglas Adams
Friday, June 17, 2011
Quote of the Day
If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.
-- I. F. Stone
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Quote of the Day
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
-- Terry Pratchett
Monday, June 13, 2011
Quote of the Day
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
-- Stephen Wright
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Quote of the Day
"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God."
"I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be."
-- Joseph Heller (Catch-22)
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Quote of the Day
The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
-- Bertrand Russell
Friday, June 10, 2011
Quote of the Day
Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.
-- Brodie Bruce
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Quote of the Day
Q -- Is there life after death?
A -- Definitely. I speak from personal experience here. On New Year's Eve, 1970, I drank a full pitcher of a drink called "Black Russian", then crawled out on the lawn and died within a matter of minutes, which was fine with me because I had come to realize that if I had lived I would have spent the rest of my life in the grip of the most excruciatingly painful headache. Thanks to the miracle of modern orange juice, I was brought back to life several days later, but in the interim I was definitely dead. I guess my main impression of the afterlife is that it isn't so bad as long as you keep the television turned down and don't try to eat any solid foods.
-- Dave Barry
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Quote of the Day
The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos.
-- Stephen Jay Gould
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Quote of the Day
The nanny state is always sticking its nose into our business, from baby seats to motorcycle helmets, yet when I let my baby drive my Harley in a baby seat with a helmet, they call child services.
-- Stephen Colbert
Monday, June 06, 2011
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Quote of the Day
I'm about to write you a reality check! Or would you prefer the cold, hard cash of truth?
-- The Tick
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Quote of the Day
If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.
-- Ernest Hemingway
Friday, June 03, 2011
Quote of the Day
Recently, I've been working with the Salvation Navy. Good outfit, but it's hard to get people to join. Not many people want to sit in a rowboat with a bass drum in their lap.
-- George Carlin
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Quote of the Day
Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards.
-- H. L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan, counsel for the supporters of Tennessee's anti-evolution law at the Scopes "Monkey Trial" in 1925.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Quote of the Day
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Orson Welles
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