You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste.
-- Charles Montgomery Burns
Monday, July 31, 2006
Quote of the Day
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Quote of the Day
An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Quote of the Day
I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
-- Jack Handey
Week in Review
Friday, July 28, 2006
Quote of the Day
All things dull and ugly, all creatures short and squat;
All things rude and nasty, the Lord God made the lot.
Each little snake that poisons, each little wasp that stings;
He made their brutish venom, He made their horrid wings.
All things sick and cancerous, all evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous, the Lord God made them all.
Each nasty little hornet, each beastly little squid.
Who made the spiky urchin? Who made the shark? He did.
All things scabbed and ulcerous, all pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous, The Lord God made them all. Amen.
-- Monty Python
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Quote of the Day
Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
-- Douglas Adams
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Quote of the Day
The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question.
-- Stephen Jay Gould
Monday, July 24, 2006
Quote of the Day
I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing...
-- Thomas Jefferson
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Week in Review
Quote of the Day
Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash.
-- Emo Philips
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Quote of the Day
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-- Albert Einstein
Friday, July 21, 2006
Quote of the Day
Creationist critics often charge that evolution cannot be tested, and therefore cannot be viewed as a properly scientific subject at all. This claim is rhetorical nonsense.
-- Stephen Jay Gould, Dinosaur in a Haystack
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Quote of the Day
Wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which piles up first!
-- Crow T. Robot
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
Quote of the Day
Alone! I'm alone! I'm a lonely, insignificant speck on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Quote of the Day
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Quote of the Day
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
-- Albert Einstein
Friday, July 14, 2006
Quote of the Day
He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
-- Abraham Lincoln
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Quote of the Day
The argument that the literal story of Genesis can qualify as science collapses on three major grounds: the creationists' need to invoke miracles in order to compress the events of the earth's history into the biblical span of a few thousand years; their unwillingness to abandon claims clearly disproved, including the assertion that all fossils are products of Noah's flood; and their reliance upon distortion, misquote, half-quote, and citation out of context to characterize the ideas of their opponents.
-- Stephen Jay Gould ("The Verdict on Creationism", The Skeptical Inquirer, Winter 87/88, pg. 186)
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Quote of the Day
Blasphemy is an epithet bestowed by superstition upon common sense.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Quote of the Day
I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Monday, July 10, 2006
Quote of the Day
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
-- Jack Handey
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Quote of the Day
It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.
-- David Brin
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Quote of the Day
No proper program contains an indication which as an operator-applied occurrence identifies an operator-defining occurrence which as an indication-applied occurrence identifies an indication-defining occurrence different from the one identified by the given indication as an indication-applied occurrence.
-- ALGOL 68 Report
Friday, July 07, 2006
Quote of the Day
Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
-- Ian Faith
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Quote of the Day
I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.
-- Jack Handey
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Quote of the Day
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
-- Richard P. Feynman
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Quote of the Day
You can tell how far we have to go, when FORTRAN is the language of supercomputers.
-- Steven Feiner
Monday, July 03, 2006
Quote of the Day
Whether they find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet.
-- Jack Handey
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Quote of the Day
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side.
-- Hunter S. Thompson
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