Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
-- Joseph Heller (Catch-22)
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Quote of the Day
Week in Review
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Quote of the Day
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
-- Jack Handey
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Quote of the Day
The trinitarian believes a virgin to be the mother of a son who is her maker.
-- Sir Francis Bacon
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Quote of the Day
If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.
-- Jack Handey
Monday, September 25, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Quote of the Day
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
-- George Carlin
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
Quote of the Day
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
-- Rita Rudner
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Quote of the Day
Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
Quote of the Day
Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
-- Zaphod Beeblebrox
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Quote of the Day
I look into the mirror
I see no happiness
All the warmth I gave you
Has turned to emptiness
The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
You've left me here believing
In love that wasn't there
-- Yes
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Quote of the Day
Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash.
-- Emo Philips
Friday, September 15, 2006
Quote of the Day
Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.
-- James Blish
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Quote of the Day
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
-- Frank Zappa
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Quote of the Day
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Quote of the Day
Hello. We're the ones who control your lives. We make the decisions that affect all of you. Isn't it interesting to know that those who run your lives would have the nerve to tell you about it in this manner? Suffer, you fools. We know everything you do, and we know where you go. What do you think the cameras are for? And the global-positioning satellites? And the Social Security numbers? You belong to us. And it can't be changed. Sign your petitions, walk your picket lines, bring your lawsuits, cast your votes, and write those stupid letters to whomever you please; you won't change a thing. Because we control your lives. And we have plans for you. Go back to sleep.
-- George Carlin
Monday, September 11, 2006
Quote of the Day
If only more Christians read their bibles there'd be less Christians.
-- Derek W. Clayton
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Quote of the Day
Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
-- Bob & Ray
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Quote of the Day
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
-- Jack Handey
Week in Review
Friday, September 08, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Quote of the Day
In the old days villains had moustaches and kicked the dog. Audiences are smarter today. They don't want their villain to be thrown at them with green limelight on his face. They want an ordinary human being with failings.
-- Alfred Hitchcock
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Quote of the Day
Jazz is a mental attitude rather than a style. It uses a certain process of the mind expressed spontaneously through some musical instrument. I'm concerned with retaining that process.
-- Bill Evans
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Quote of the Day
The man who worships a tyrant in heaven naturally submits his neck to the yoke of tyrants on earth.
-- George W. Foote, Flowers of Freethought
Friday, September 01, 2006
Quote of the Day
I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'what if life *were* fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.
-- Marcus Cole (Babylon 5)
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