Quote of the Day

Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the lightbulb.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.
-- Red Forman

Quote of the Day

Don't give me any of that Star Trek crap. It's too early in the morning.
-- Dave Lister

Quote of the Day

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, in not what I call hospitality.
-- Jack Handey

Week in Review

-	Friday Random Ten
-	First American waffle iron
-	A Report on Mesopotamia by T.E. Lawrence
-	1,000th Post
-	And It Burns, Burns, Burns
-	Friday Random Ten
-	Max Roach Dies at 83
-	Hot!
-	Is Rudy Giuliani a Fascist?
-	Friday Random Ten

Quote of the Day

The startling truth finally became apparent, and it was this: Numbers written on restaurant checks do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. This single statement took the scientific world by storm. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good restaurants that many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity and heart failure, and the science of mathematics was put back by years.
-- Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day

Science has 'explained' nothing; the more we know the more fantastic the world becomes and the profounder the surrounding darkness.
-- Aldous Huxley

Quote of the Day

Isn't pomo really one big cover-up for for the failure of the French to write a truly interesting novel ever since a sports car ate Albert Camus?
-- John Leonard

Quote of the Day

Well I don't have anything else planned for today, let's get drunk!
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

Quote of the Day

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein

Quote of the Day

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone

Week in Review

-	1,000th Post
-	And It Burns, Burns, Burns
-	Friday Random Ten
-	Max Roach Dies at 83
-	Hot!
-	Is Rudy Giuliani a Fascist?
-	Friday Random Ten
-	No Respect
-	Blessed are…
-	DCI World Championships - Pasadena, CA

Quote of the Day

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
-- Siddhartha Gautama

Quote of the Day

I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

As the one guy said to the other guy when he was getting fed up, "I'm getting fed up."
-- Vyvyan Basterd

Quote of the Day

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Stephen Wright

Quote of the Day

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!
-- Harlan Ellison

Quote of the Day

A house is where you put your stuff when you're out buying other stuff.
-- George Carlin

Quote of the Day

Probably the question asked most often is: Do one-celled animals have orgasms? The answer is yes, they have orgasms almost constantly, which is why they don't mind living in pools of warm slime.
-- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every Teen Should Know"

Week in Review

-	Friday Random Ten
-	No Respect
-	Blessed are…
-	DCI World Championships - Pasadena, CA
-	There’s Always Tomorrow…
-	They Saved Hitler’s Champagne
-	Friday Random Ten
-	_Futurama_ Movie Set For November 27
-	120,000
-	Reading: _H.M.S. Surprise_

Quote of the Day

A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce (Ulysses)

Quote of the Day

The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much, but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day. It turned out he was right. After forty years, the volcano petered out. Everybody left town, and the hardware store went broke. Finally he decided to collect gold nuggets too, but there weren't many left by then. Plus, he broke his leg and the doctor's bills were real high.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Quote of the Day

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

Me fail English? That's unpossible.
-- Ralph Wiggum

Quote of the Day

Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste if I was wearing a lime green tank top.
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different.
-- Jack Handey

Week in Review

-	Friday Random Ten
-	_Futurama_ Movie Set For November 27
-	120,000
-	Reading: _H.M.S. Surprise_
-	Those Wacky Jesuits
-	Friday Random Ten
-	Mmmm, Barbecued Iguana
-	Ruh-Ro!
-	Friday Random Ten
-	Maritime Simulation Forums

Quote of the Day

Science offers us an explanation of how complexity (the difficult) arose out of simplicity (the easy). The hypothesis of God offers no worthwhile explanation for anything, for it simply postulates what we are trying to explain.
-- Richard Dawkins

Quote of the Day

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
-- Bjarne Stroustrup

Quote of the Day

I figure that if God actually does exist, He's big enough to understand an honest difference of opinion.
-- Isaac Asimov