When it comes to humility, I'm the greatest.
-- Bullwinkle Moose
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Quote of the Day
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
-- Dave Barry
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Quote of the Day
The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
-- Harlan Ellison
Monday, July 28, 2008
Quote of the Day
Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
-- Aldous Huxley
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Quote of the Day
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
-- Jack Handey
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Quote of the Day
Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?
-- Frank Zappa
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Quote of the Day
Don't give me any of that Star Trek crap. It's too early in the morning.
-- Dave Lister
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Quote of the Day
The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.
-- Bertrand Russell
Monday, July 21, 2008
Quote of the Day
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
-- Stephen Wright
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Quote of the Day
Claude believed that only smart attractive people had the right to fuck, and it sincerely hurt him when he discovered evidence to the contrary.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Quote of the Day
I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Friday, July 18, 2008
Quote of the Day
The concept of the rock-guitar solo in the eightees has pretty much been reduced to: Weedly-weedly-wee, make a face, hold your guitar like it's your weenie, point it heavenward, and look like you're really doing something. Then, you geta big ovation while the the smoke bombs go off, and the motorized lights in your truss twirl around.
-- Frank Zappa
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Quote of the Day
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!
-- Jack Handey
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Quote of the Day
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it.
-- Richard P. Feynman
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Quote of the Day
We don't know who they are or where they come from, but we do know that they stand for everything we don't stand for. Also, I heard they said you guys look like dorks.
-- Captain Zapp Brannigan
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Quote of the Day
Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away.
-- Sir Thomas Beecham
Week in Review
Friday, July 11, 2008
Quote of the Day
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Quote of the Day
The problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves and wiser people so full of doubts.
-- Bertrand Russell
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Quote of the Day
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Monday, July 07, 2008
Quote of the Day
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
-- Rita Rudner
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Quote of the Day
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.
-- Jack Handey
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Quote of the Day
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
-- Stephen Wright
Week in Review
Friday, July 04, 2008
Quote of the Day
Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.
-- Albert Camus
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Quote of the Day
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Quote of the Day
Are you correcting me? Don't correct me! I'm a Pantera's box you do NOT want to open!
-- Mr. Furious
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Quote of the Day
They do say, Mrs Miggins, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are of course wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head.
-- Edmund Blackadder, Esq. (Blackadder the Third)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)