Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Friday, October 31, 2008
Quote of the Day
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Quote of the Day
The Bible has been interpreted to justify such evil practices as, for example, slavery, the slaughter of prisoners of war, the sadistic murders of women believed to be witches, capital punishment for hundreds of offenses, polygamy, and cruelty to animals. It has been used to encourage belief in the grossest superstition and to discourage the free teaching of scientific truths. We must never forget that both good and evil flow from the Bible. It is therefore not above criticism.
-- Steve Allen
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Quote of the Day
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Quote of the Day
Goddammit! The world is just filling up with more and more idiots! And the computer is giving them access to the world! They're spreading their stupidity! At least they were contained before--now they're on the loose everywhere!
-- Harlan Ellison
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Quote of the Day
Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!
-- Captain Ahab, Moby Dick
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Quote of the Day
It is always preferable to visit home with a friend. Your parents will not be pleased with this plan, because they want you all to themselves and because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like mature human beings.
The worst kind of friend to take home is a girl, because in that case, there is the potential that your parents will lose you not just for the duration of the visit but forever. The worst kind of girl to take home is one of a different religion: Not only will you be lost to your parents forever but you will be lost to a woman who is immune to their religious/moral arguments and whose example will irretrievably corrupt you.
Let's say you've fallen in love with just such a girl and would like to take her home for the holidays. You are aware of your parents' xenophobic response to anyone of a different religion. How to prepare them for the shock?
Simple. Call them up shortly before your visit and tell them that you have gotten quite serious about somebody who is of a different religion, a different race and the same sex. Tell them you have already invited this person to meet them. Give the information a moment to sink in and then remark that you were only kidding, that your lover is merely of a different religion. They will be so relieved they will welcome her with open arms.
-- Playboy, January, 1983
Week in Review
Friday, October 24, 2008
Quote of the Day
What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, during which it just remains 7 a.m. This way we could all wake up via a civilized gradual process of stretching and belching and scratching, and it would still be only 7 a.m. when we were ready to actually emerge from bed.
-- Dave Barry
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Quote of the Day
Why don't you listen to something really classical like Mozart, Mendelsohn or Motorhead?
-- Arnold Judas Rimmer
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Quote of the Day
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
-- Mark Twain
Monday, October 20, 2008
Quote of the Day
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
-- Erma Bombeck
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Quote of the Day
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
-- Dorothy Parker
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Quote of the Day
Linux supports the notion of a command line or a shell for the same reason that only children read books with only pictures in them. Language, be it English or something else, is the only tool flexible enough to accomplish a sufficiently broad range of tasks.
-- Bill Garrett
Week in Review
Friday, October 17, 2008
Quote of the Day
Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.
-- Thomas Paine
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Quote of the Day
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
-- Mark Twain
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Quote of the Day
Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and Eskimos!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Quote of the Day
It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- Jacob Bronowski
Monday, October 13, 2008
Quote of the Day
When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
-- Jack Handey
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Week in Review
Friday, October 10, 2008
Quote of the Day
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-- Richard Dawkins
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Quote of the Day
Let's not be too tough on our own ignorance. It's the thing that makes America great. If America weren't incomparably ignorant, how could we have tolerated the last eight years?
-- Frank Zappa
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Quote of the Day
"What shall we do?" said Twoflower.
"Panic?" said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people faced with hungry sabretoothed tigers could be divided very simply into those who panicked and those who stood there saying "What a magnificent brute!" and "Here, pussy."
-- Terry Pratchett (The Light Fantastic)
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Quote of the Day
Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed -- but a woman is always a woman.
-- James T. Kirk, "The Conscience of the King", stardate 2818.9
Monday, October 06, 2008
Quote of the Day
I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.
-- Marcus Procius Cato
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Quote of the Day
I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
-- Charles Montgomery Burns
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Quote of the Day
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-- A. Whitney Brown
Friday, October 03, 2008
Quote of the Day
Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
-- Bob & Ray
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)