Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Quote of the Day
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Quote of the Day
The last time somebody said, "I find I can write much better with a word processor.", I replied, "They used to say the same thing about drugs."
-- Roy Blount, Jr.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Quote of the Day
When I was a child, the other children in my neighborhood would taunt me, calling me "noodle-head" or "neo-Calvinist" So I would run after them, but lucky for them the chain would snap tight and pull me back.
-- Emo Philips
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Quote of the Day
I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing...
-- Thomas Jefferson
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Quote of the Day
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
-- Jack Handey
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Quote of the Day
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Quote of the Day
Perilous to all of us are the devices of an art deeper than we ourselves possess.
-- Gandalf the Grey (J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Quote of the Day
I do understand what love is, and that is one of the reasons I can never again be a Christian. Love is not self denial. Love is not blood and suffering. Love is not murdering your son to appease your own vanity. Love is not hatred or wrath, consigning billions of people to eternal torture because they have offended your ego or disobeyed your rules. Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that iscontingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being.
-- Dan Barker (Losing Faith in Faith)
Monday, June 21, 2010
Quote of the Day
Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed -- but a woman is always a woman.
-- James T. Kirk, "The Conscience of the King", stardate 2818.9
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Quote of the Day
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
-- Douglas Adams
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Quote of the Day
The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are drifting side by side to our common doom.
-- Clarence Darrow
Friday, June 18, 2010
Quote of the Day
The feeling persists that no one can simultaneously be a respectable writer and understand how a refrigerator works, just as no gentleman wears a brown suit in the city. Colleges may be to blame. English majors are encouraged, I know, to hate chemistry and physics, and to be proud because they are not dull and creepy and humorless and war-oriented like the engineers across the quad. And our most impressive critics have commonly been such English majors, and they are squeamish about technology to this very day. So it is natural for them to despise science fiction.
-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr., "Science Fiction"
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Quote of the Day
If you have trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Quote of the Day
I bet it's hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like "Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar."
-- Jack Handey
Monday, June 14, 2010
Quote of the Day
The basic idea behind malls is that they are more convenient than cities. Cities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in. Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots, which are also dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but -- here is the big difference -- in mall parking lots, THERE ARE NO RULES. You're allowed to do anything. You can drive as fast as you want in any direction you want. I was once driving in a mall parking lot when my car was struck by a pickup truck being driven backward by a squat man with a tattoo that said "Charlie" on his forearm, who got out and explained to me, in great detail, why the accident was my fault, his reasoning being that he was violent and muscular, whereas I was neither. This kind of reasoning is legally valid in mall parking lots.
-- Dave Barry
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Quote of the Day
The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Quote of the Day
Oh sweet information superhighway, what bring you me from the depths of cyberspace?
-- Crow T. Robot
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Quote of the Day
Don't talk to me about the post-modern age. We're not even in the modern age yet for Christ's sake. There are still 150 million people in America who believe in Genesis.
-- Simon Critchley
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Quote of the Day
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Quote of the Day
The connection between the language in which we think/program and the problems and solutions we can imagine is very close. For this reason restricting language features with the intent of eliminating programmer errors is at best dangerous.
-- Bjarne Stroustrup (The C++ Programming Language)
Monday, June 07, 2010
Quote of the Day
Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!
-- Harlan Ellison
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Quote of the Day
Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Quote of the Day
If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
-- Captain Zapp Brannigan
Week in Review
Friday, June 04, 2010
Quote of the Day
I don't say that we ought to all misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.
-- Orson Welles
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Quote of the Day
The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Quote of the Day
Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.
-- James Joyce
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Quote of the Day
We would like to apologize for the way in which politicians are represented in this programme. It was never our intention to imply that politicians are weak-kneed, political time-servers who are more concerned with their personal vendettas and private power struggles than the problems of government, nor to suggest at any point that they sacrifice their credibility by denying free debate on vital matters in the mistaken impression that party unity comes before the well-being of the people they supposedly represent, nor to imply at any stage that they are squabbling little toadies without an ounce of concern for the vital social problems of today. Nor indeed do we intend that viewers should consider them as crabby ulcerous little self-seeking vermin with furry legs and an excessive addiction to alcohol and certain explicit sexual practices which some people might find offensive. We are sorry if this impression has come across.
-- Monty Python
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