Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication.
-- Groucho Marx
Monday, February 28, 2011
Quote of the Day
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Quote of the Day
A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider godfearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side.
-- Aristotle (384-322 BCE), "Politics"
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Quote of the Day
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
-- Richard P. Feynman
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Quote of the Day
Jazz is a mental attitude rather than a style. It uses a certain process of the mind expressed spontaneously through some musical instrument. I'm concerned with retaining that process.
-- Bill Evans
Monday, February 21, 2011
Quote of the Day
It was the greatest night of my life. I'd been invited to the Captain's Table. I'd only been with the company fourteen years. Six officers and me! They called me "Arnold." We had gazpacho soup for starters. I didn't know gazpacho soup was meant to be served cold. I called over the chef and I told him to take it away and bring it back hot. He did. The looks on their faces still haunt me today! I thought they were laughing at the chef, when all the time, they were laughing at me as I ate my piping hot gazpacho soup. I never ate at the Captain's Table again. That was the end of my career.
-- Arnold Judas Rimmer
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Quote of the Day
I believe that professional wrestling is clean and everything else in the world is fixed.
-- Frank Deford
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Quote of the Day
Every now and then, when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.
-- Hunter S. Thompson (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)
Friday, February 18, 2011
Quote of the Day
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
-- Henny Youngman
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Quote of the Day
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-- Albert Einstein
Monday, February 14, 2011
Quote of the Day
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
-- Mark Twain
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Quote of the Day
Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.
-- Dave Barry
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Quote of the Day
The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
Week in Review
Friday, February 11, 2011
Quote of the Day
Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Quote of the Day
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
-- Mark Twain
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Quote of the Day
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
-- Rita Rudner
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Quote of the Day
Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein.
-- Joe Theismann
Monday, February 07, 2011
Quote of the Day
Oh, so, just 'cause a robot wants to kill humans that makes him a radical?
-- Bender Unit 22
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Quote of the Day
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
-- James Thurber
Friday, February 04, 2011
Quote of the Day
The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much, but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day. It turned out he was right. After forty years, the volcano petered out. Everybody left town, and the hardware store went broke. Finally he decided to collect gold nuggets too, but there weren't many left by then. Plus, he broke his leg and the doctor's bills were real high.
-- Jack Handey
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Quote of the Day
Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it "dull" that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?
-- Jack Handey
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Quote of the Day
The night of December 25, to which date the Nativity of Christ was ultimately assigned, was exactly that of the birth of the Persian savior Mithra, who, as an incarnation of eternal light, was born the night of the winter solstice (then dated December 25) at midnight, the instant of the turn of the year from increasing darkness to light.
-- Joseph Campbell (The Mythic Image)
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