When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
-- Al Franken
Monday, January 31, 2011
Quote of the Day
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Quote of the Day
In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing...
-- Nigel Tufnel
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Quote of the Day
New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.
-- David Letterman
Week in Review
Friday, January 28, 2011
Quote of the Day
I woke up this morning with a bloody nose. I thought, "how did this get into bed with me?"
-- Emo Philips
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Quote of the Day
Alone! I'm alone! I'm a lonely, insignificant speck on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Quote of the Day
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-- Arthur C. Clarke
Monday, January 24, 2011
Quote of the Day
If you ever require a picture of resentful apathy, check out any background munchkin in the Wizard of Oz. Also, I think it's shameful to try to pin the collapse of the lollipop industry on the lollipop guild.
-- John Hodgman (via Twitter)
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Quote of the Day
Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!
-- Captain Ahab (Moby Dick)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Quote of the Day
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams
Friday, January 21, 2011
Quote of the Day
There's nothing wrong with murder, just as long as you let Bender whet his beak.
-- Bender Unit 22
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Quote of the Day
Don't worry, son. I'm sure he's up in heaven right now laughing it up with all the other celebrities: John Dilinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Quote of the Day
I would like to suggest that you not use speed, and here's why: it is going to mess up your heart, mess up your liver, your kidneys, rot out your mind. In general this drug will make you just like your mother and father.
-- Frank Zappa
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Quote of the Day
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
-- Isaac Asimov
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Quote of the Day
In the event of an emergency, my ass can be used as a flotation device.
-- Bender Unit 22
Friday, January 14, 2011
Quote of the Day
Then you have to say one or other of two things. Either God only speaks to a very small percentage of mankind--which happens to include yourself--or He deliberately says things are not true in talking to the consciences of savages.
-- Bertrand Russell
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Quote of the Day
I have been invited to go to Houston for astronaut training! I never in a million years thought I would see the day when I would want to go to Houston.
-- Stephen Colbert
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Quote of the Day
Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Quote of the Day
Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Monday, January 10, 2011
Quote of the Day
It has become almost a cliche to remark that nobody boasts of ignorance of literature, but it is socially acceptable to boast ignorance of science.
-- Richard Dawkins
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Quote of the Day
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Quote of the Day
What I mean (and everybody else means) by the word QUALITY cannot be broken down into subjects and predicates. This is not because Quality is so mysterious but because Quality is so simple, immediate, and direct.
-- R. Pirsig (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance)
Friday, January 07, 2011
Quote of the Day
Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
-- Jack Handey
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Quote of the Day
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
-- Dorothy Parker
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Quote of the Day
I have something to say about the difference between American and European cities. But I've forgotten what it is. I have it written down at home somewhere.
-- David Byrne (True Stories)
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Quote of the Day
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Monday, January 03, 2011
Quote of the Day
You men, the next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergymans rate.
-- George Carlin
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Quote of the Day
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
-- Albert Einstein
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Quote of the Day
We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
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