All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.
-- Mark Twain
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Quote of the Day
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Quote of the Day
I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
-- Stephen Wright
Friday, July 29, 2011
Quote of the Day
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
-- Jack Handey
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Quote of the Day
One of the great attractions of patriotism - it fulfills our worst wishes. In the person of our nation we are able, vicariously, to bully and cheat. Bully and cheat, what's more, with a feeling that we are profoundly virtuous.
-- Aldous Huxley
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Quote of the Day
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Quote of the Day
I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
-- Jack Handey
Monday, July 25, 2011
Quote of the Day
You can tell Buddha was never married. Otherwise his wife would have always been saying, "What are you gonna do, sit around like that all day?"
-- Garry Shandling
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Quote of the Day
Carob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of fats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture. Of course, the same can be said of dirt.
-- Sandra Boynton
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Quote of the Day
So once again, we find that evil of the past seeps into the present like salad dressing through cheap wax paper, mixing memory and desire.
-- The Tick
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Quote of the Day
... of course, this probably only happens for tcsh which uses wait4(), which is why I never saw it. Serves people who use that abomination right 8^)
-- Linus Torvalds, about a patch that fixes getrusage for 1.3.26
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Quote of the Day
Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin, and the bassist is the late Barry Oakley of the Allman Brothers. So Stevie Ray's thinking, "Oh, wow! I've died and gone to rock and roll heaven." Just then, Karen Carpenter walks in, sits down at the drums, and says: "'Close to You'. Hit it, boys!"
-- Told by Penn Jillette, of magic/comedy duo Penn and Teller
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Quote of the Day
No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
Monday, July 18, 2011
Quote of the Day
Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Quote of the Day
I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up.
-- Bob Uecker
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Quote of the Day
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
-- Jack Handey
Friday, July 15, 2011
Quote of the Day
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
-- Mark Twain
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Quote of the Day
One trend that bothers me is the glorification of stupidity, that the media is reassuring people it's alright not to know anything. That to me is far more dangerous than a little pornography on the Internet.
-- Carl Sagan
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Quote of the Day
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
-- Groucho Marx
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Quote of the Day
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.
-- Isaac Asimov
Monday, July 11, 2011
Quote of the Day
The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
-- Jack Handey
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Quote of the Day
Risch's decision procedure for integration, not surprisingly, uses a recursion on the number and type of the extensions from the rational functions needed to represent the integrand. Although the algorithm follows and critically depends upon the appropriate structure of the input, as in the case of multivariate factorization, we cannot claim that the algorithm is a natural one. In fact, the creator of differential algebra, Ritt, committed suicide in the early 1950's, largely, it is claimed, because few paid attention to his work. Probably he would have received more attention had he obtained the algorithm as well.
-- Joel Moses, Algorithms and Complexity, ed. J.F. Traub
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Quote of the Day
The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.
-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
Friday, July 08, 2011
Quote of the Day
I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.
-- Jack Handey
Thursday, July 07, 2011
Quote of the Day
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
-- George Carlin
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Quote of the Day
I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any questions , I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?
He said he couldn't answer that, I told him sorry, but I couldn't work for him then.
-- Stephen Wright
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Monday, July 04, 2011
Quote of the Day
The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.
-- Abraham Lincoln
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Quote of the Day
We could jam in Joe's garage,
we didn't have no dope or LSD,
but a coupl'o'quarts o'beer,
would fix it so the intonation,
would not offend your ear.
-- Frank Zappa
Saturday, July 02, 2011
Quote of the Day
No one has an idea really of where we should draw the line. What about the Bible? Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around. If you're looking for violent rape imagery, the Bible's right there in your hotel room. If you just want to look up ways to screw people up, there it is, and you're justified because God told you to. You have Shakespeare and you have Sophocles--what are we going to do, lose Oedipus Rex if someone pokes an eye out?
-- Penn Jillette, from Reason magazine, on censorship of violent TV shows
Friday, July 01, 2011
Quote of the Day
Almost anything derogatory you could say about today's software design would be accurate.
-- K.E. Iverson
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)