The enemy of society is middle class and the enemy of life is middle age.
-- Orson Welles
Monday, October 31, 2011
Quote of the Day
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Quote of the Day
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-- Umberto Eco
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Quote of the Day
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
-- Penn Jillette
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Quote of the Day
I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and hand it to him.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Quote of the Day
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
-- Jack Handey
Monday, October 24, 2011
Quote of the Day
We look at the ancient Greeks with their gods on a mountain top throwing lightning bolts and say, "Those ancient Greeks. They were so silly. So primitive and naive. Not like our religions. We have burning bushes talking to people and guys walking on water. We're ...sophisticated."
-- Paul Provenza
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Quote of the Day
In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
-- Mark Twain
Friday, October 21, 2011
Quote of the Day
Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as an oral bowel movement.
-- Randal Graves
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Quote of the Day
A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider godfearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side.
-- Aristotle (384-322 BCE), "Politics"
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Quote of the Day
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
-- Stephen Wright
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Quote of the Day
Bring me a creationist who doesn't lie, deceive, distort and distract then I will show you a whole lot of thin air!
-- Clayton Forno
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Quote of the Day
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Quote of the Day
...I don't think music turns people into social liabilities. Because you hear a lyric -- there's no medical proof that a person hearing a lyric is going to act out the lyric. There's also no medical proof that if you hear any collection of vowels and consonants, that the hearing of that collection is going to send you to Hell.
-- Frank Zappa
Friday, October 14, 2011
Quote of the Day
The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty, not knowing what comes next.
-- Ursula K. Le Guin
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Quote of the Day
You read the Bible in your own special ways
you're fond of quoting certain things it says
Mouth full of righteousness and wrath from above
When do we hear about forgiveness and love?
-- Bruce Cockburn, "Gospel of Bondage"
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Quote of the Day
It has never mattered to me that thirty million people might think I'm wrong. The number of people who thought Hitler was right did not make him right... Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are?
-- Frank Zappa
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Quote of the Day
It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side.
-- Frank Zappa
Sunday, October 09, 2011
Saturday, October 08, 2011
Friday, October 07, 2011
Quote of the Day
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
-- Jack Handey
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Quote of the Day
And so, may Evil beware and may Good dress warmly and eat lots of fresh vegetables.
-- The Tick
Wednesday, October 05, 2011
Quote of the Day
Let's face it, comedy is a dead art form. Now tragedy, ha ha ha, that's funny!
-- Bender Unit 22
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Quote of the Day
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
-- Mark Twain
Monday, October 03, 2011
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Saturday, October 01, 2011
Quote of the Day
Hollywood is a gold-plated suburb suitable for golfers, gardeners, assorted middlemen, and contented movies stars. I am none of these things.
-- Orson Welles
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