What's in a name? That is what we ask ourselves in childhood when we write the name that we are told is ours.
-- James Joyce
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Quote of the Day
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Quote of the Day
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Quote of the Day
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."
-- Jack Handey
Monday, May 28, 2012
Quote of the Day
The word "spine" is, of course, an anagram of "penis". This is true in almost fifty percent of the languages of the Galaxy, and many people have attempted to explain why. Usually these explanations get bogged down in silly puns about "standing erect".
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Quote of the Day
Ned... have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
-- Reverend Timothy Lovejoy
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Quote of the Day
I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'what if life *were* fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.
-- Marcus Cole (Babylon 5)
Friday, May 25, 2012
Quote of the Day
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
-- Henny Youngman
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Quote of the Day
It's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.
-- Derek Smalls
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Quote of the Day
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed; they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!
-- Orson Welles
Monday, May 21, 2012
Quote of the Day
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.
-- Jack Handey
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Quote of the Day
If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.
-- Mort Sahl
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Quote of the Day
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
-- Mark Twain
Friday, May 18, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Quote of the Day
It is not easy to see how the more extreme forms of nationalism can long survive when men have seen the Earth in its true perspective as a single small globe against the stars.
-- Arthur C. Clarke
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Quote of the Day
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Quote of the Day
I don't want to sound callous. I mean, even if I have nothing to offer, that doesn't matter, because that still doesn't mean that what anybody else has to offer therefore has to be true.
-- Richard Dawkins
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Quote of the Day
Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
-- Aaron McGruder
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Quote of the Day
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
-- Steven Wright
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Quote of the Day
Probably the question asked most often is: Do one-celled animals have orgasms? The answer is yes, they have orgasms almost constantly, which is why they don't mind living in pools of warm slime.
-- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every Teen Should Know"
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Quote of the Day
I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away... it was already here. I just wasn't aware of it yet.
-- Bruce Sterling
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Quote of the Day
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry
Monday, May 07, 2012
Quote of the Day
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
-- Stephen Wright
Sunday, May 06, 2012
Quote of the Day
Another war ... must it always be so? How many comrades have we lost in this way? ... Obedience. Duty. Death, and more death ...
-- Romulan Commander, "Balance of Terror", stardate 1709.2
Saturday, May 05, 2012
Quote of the Day
The argument that the literal story of Genesis can qualify as science collapses on three major grounds: the creationists' need to invoke miracles in order to compress the events of the earth's history into the biblical span of a few thousand years; their unwillingness to abandon claims clearly disproved, including the assertion that all fossils are products of Noah's flood; and their reliance upon distortion, misquote, half-quote, and citation out of context to characterize the ideas of their opponents.
-- Stephen Jay Gould ("The Verdict on Creationism", The Skeptical Inquirer, Winter 87/88, pg. 186)
Friday, May 04, 2012
Quote of the Day
The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question.
-- Stephen Jay Gould
Thursday, May 03, 2012
Quote of the Day
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
-- Dave Barry
Wednesday, May 02, 2012
Quote of the Day
Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter", don't stop to pack.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
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