After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager."
-- William S. Burroughs
Monday, December 31, 2012
Quote of the Day
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Quote of the Day
Sergeant Colon had had a broad education. He'd been to the School of My Dad Always Said, the College of It Stands to Reason, and was now a postgraduate student at the University of What Some Bloke In the Pub Told Me.
-- Terry Pratchett
Friday, December 28, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Quote of the Day
You must've torn out the "Q" section in my dictionary, because I don't know the meaning of the word "quit"!
-- Mr. Furious
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Quote of the Day
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible.
-- Stanislaw Lem
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Quote of the Day
The new millennium sucks! What a disappointment! What's the difference between the old millennium and the new millennium? Nothing! It's the same load of crap with a "2" in the front. When I was a kid, I am old enough so that when I was a kid, I looked forward to the new millennium. When I was young, I said, "I'm gonna live through a change! A massive change! Things are gonna be different! Things are gonna be great!" Screwed again! No flying cars! No flying cars!
-- Lewis Black
Monday, December 24, 2012
Quote of the Day
Recently, I've been working with the Salvation Navy. Good outfit, but it's hard to get people to join. Not many people want to sit in a rowboat with a bass drum in their lap.
-- George Carlin
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Quote of the Day
I want to share something with you -- the three little sentences that will get you through life. Number one, "Cover for me." Number two, "Oh, good idea, boss." Number three, "It was like that when I got here."
-- Homer J. Simpson
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Week in Review
Friday, December 21, 2012
Quote of the Day
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
-- W. Somerset Maugham, his last words
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Quote of the Day
Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.
-- Albert Camus
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Quote of the Day
Reality is a bit untrustworthy at the best of times. There are plenty of people who believe that Elvis is alive, or that aliens occasionally land here to do highly personal things to people, or that the whole idea of evolution is a conspiracy of godless scientists. Almost all of these people can vote and some of them have got guns.
-- Terry Pratchett
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Quote of the Day
I believe the Republicans have never thought that democracy was anything but a tribal myth.
-- Hunter S. Thompson
Monday, December 17, 2012
Quote of the Day
Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.
-- Thomas Paine
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Quote of the Day
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
-- Stephen Wright
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Quote of the Day
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
-- Henny Youngman
Friday, December 14, 2012
Quote of the Day
I have been invited to go to Houston for astronaut training! I never in a million years thought I would see the day when I would want to go to Houston.
-- Stephen Colbert
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Quote of the Day
The key to building a superstar is to keep their mouth shut. To reveal an artist to the people can be to destroy him. It isn't to anyone's advantage to see the truth.
-- Bob Ezrin, rock music producer
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Quote of the Day
The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they can level mountains, and nobody doubts them.
-- Joseph Campbell
Sunday, December 09, 2012
Quote of the Day
I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
-- Jack Handey
Saturday, December 08, 2012
Quote of the Day
We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
Friday, December 07, 2012
Quote of the Day
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Thursday, December 06, 2012
Quote of the Day
And scandal rocks the nation. The new iPads are out and I didn't get a free one, or did I?
-- Stephen Colbert
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Quote of the Day
This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
-- Charles Montgomery Burns
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Monday, December 03, 2012
Quote of the Day
And then I was confronted with N'Sync, Aerosmith and Britney Spears to*gether*. The trifecta from *Hell*.
-- Lewis Black
Sunday, December 02, 2012
Quote of the Day
Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.
-- Lisa Simpson
Saturday, December 01, 2012
Quote of the Day
The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty, not knowing what comes next.
-- Ursula K. Le Guin
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