I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.
-- Jack Handey
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Quote of the Day
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Quote of the Day
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.
-- Samuel Johnson
Friday, June 28, 2013
Quote of the Day
Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain---unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.
-- Jack Handey
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Quote of the Day
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
-- Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Quote of the Day
I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
-- Babe Ruth
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Quote of the Day
The War Prayer: "O Lord our God, help us to tear their bodies to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded."
-- Mark Twain
Monday, June 24, 2013
Quote of the Day
I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. "That was fun," I said. "You bet it was," said Nick. "Let's climb higher." "No," I said. "I think we should be heading back now." "We have time," Nick insisted. I said we didn't, and Nick said we did. We argued back and forth like that for about 20 minutes, then finally decided to head back. I didn't say it was an interesting story.
-- Jack Handey
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Quote of the Day
The startling truth finally became apparent, and it was this: Numbers written on restaurant checks do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. This single statement took the scientific world by storm. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good restaurants that many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity and heart failure, and the science of mathematics was put back by years.
-- Douglas Adams
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Quote of the Day
You can cite a hundred references to show that the biblical God is a bloodthirsty tyrant, but if they can dig up two or three verses that say "God is love," they will claim that *you* are taking things out of context!
-- Dan Barker (Losing Faith in Faith)
Friday, June 21, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Quote of the Day
It ain't supposed to make sense; it's faith. Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe.
-- Archie Bunker
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Quote of the Day
It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side.
-- Frank Zappa
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Quote of the Day
The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Quote of the Day
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
-- H.L. Mencken
Friday, June 14, 2013
Quote of the Day
If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Quote of the Day
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-- Albert Einstein
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Quote of the Day
The universe may have a purpose, but nothing we know suggests that, if so, this purpose has any similarity to ours.
-- Bertrand Russell
Monday, June 10, 2013
Quote of the Day
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
-- Frank Zappa
Sunday, June 09, 2013
Quote of the Day
The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.
-- Abraham Lincoln
Saturday, June 08, 2013
Week in Review
Friday, June 07, 2013
Quote of the Day
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage
Thursday, June 06, 2013
Quote of the Day
I don't know what you could say about a day in which you have seen four beautiful sunsets.
-- John Glenn
Wednesday, June 05, 2013
Quote of the Day
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
-- Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)
Tuesday, June 04, 2013
Quote of the Day
What are all of us but self-reproducing robots? We have been put together by our genes and what we do is roam the world looking for a way to sustain ourselves and ultimately produce another robot child.
-- Richard Dawkins
Monday, June 03, 2013
Sunday, June 02, 2013
Quote of the Day
The level of awe that you get by contemplating the modern scientific view of the universe: deep time (by which I mean geological time), deep space, and what you could call deep complexity, living things..... that level of awe is just orders of magnitude greater and more awe-inspiring than the sort of pokey medieval world-view which the church still actually has. I mean, they sort of pay lip-service to the scientific world-view, but if you listen to what they say on Thought For The Day [a religious program on BBC Radio] and things like that, it is medieval. It's a small world, a small universe, with the sky up there, very little advance since that time. So I yield to nobody in my awe for the universe and for life, but I also have a deep desire to understand it, in terms of what makes it work, what makes it tick, and not to take refuge in spurious non-explanations like "I just believe it because I believe it," that sort of thing.
-- Richard Dawkins, intervi ew with Douglas Adams
Saturday, June 01, 2013
Quote of the Day
First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time.
-- Honore de Balzac
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