When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
-- Jack Handey
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Quote of the Day
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Quote of the Day
Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.
-- John Stuart Mill
Monday, July 29, 2013
Quote of the Day
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
-- Douglas Adams
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Quote of the Day
It is always easier to believe than to deny. Our minds are naturally affirmative.
-- John Burroughs
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Quote of the Day
We scientists, whose tragic destiny it has been to make the methods of annihilation ever more gruesome and more effective, must consider it our solemn and transcendent duty to do all in our power in preventing these weapons from being used for the brutal purpose for which they were invented.
-- Albert Einstein
Friday, July 26, 2013
Quote of the Day
Way to go Sparks, you broke the monitor and you're dead. Happy?
-- Captain Hazel 'Hank' Murphy
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Quote of the Day
Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.
-- Douglas Adams
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Quote of the Day
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Quote of the Day
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
-- Jack Handey
Monday, July 22, 2013
Quote of the Day
This is crazy! Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma Flintstone? She'll never leave Fred and we know it.
-- Dave Lister
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Quote of the Day
I don't say that we ought to all misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.
-- Orson Welles
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Quote of the Day
Probably the most difficult thing in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil. Other than that, it's been a good day.
-- Emo Philips
Week in Review
Friday, July 19, 2013
Quote of the Day
All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.
-- Carl Sagan
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Quote of the Day
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
-- Rich Kulawiec
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Quote of the Day
I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.
-- Stephen Wright
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Quote of the Day
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
-- Emo Philips
Monday, July 15, 2013
Quote of the Day
You'd better beat it. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.
-- Groucho Marx
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Quote of the Day
If you have trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Quote of the Day
We got somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 states. We could lose a few. I mean, do we really need two Dakotas? And NEW Hampshire? I'm sure the old one's fine.
-- Stephen Colbert
Week in Review
Friday, July 12, 2013
Quote of the Day
You wake me up early in the morning to tell me I am right? Please wait until I am wrong.
-- Johann Von Neumann
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Quote of the Day
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Quote of the Day
When people learn no tools of judgment and merely follow their hopes, the seeds of political manipulation are sown.
-- Stephen Jay Gould
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Quote of the Day
The bible must be seen in a cultural context. It didn't just happen. These stories are retreads. But, tell a Christian that -- No, No! What makes it doubly sad is that they hardly know the book, much less its origins.
-- Isaac Asimov
Monday, July 08, 2013
Quote of the Day
Bring me a creationist who doesn't lie, deceive, distort and distract then I will show you a whole lot of thin air!
-- Clayton Forno
Saturday, July 06, 2013
Quote of the Day
This so-called "new religion" is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate!
-- Reverend Timothy Lovejoy
Friday, July 05, 2013
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