Let's face it, comedy is a dead art form. Now tragedy, ha ha ha, that's funny!
-- Bender Unit 22
Monday, September 30, 2013
Quote of the Day
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Quote of the Day
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Woody Allen
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Week in Review
Friday, September 27, 2013
Quote of the Day
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Quote of the Day
I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
-- Stephen Wright
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Quote of the Day
It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Quote of the Day
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
-- George Carlin
Monday, September 23, 2013
Quote of the Day
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the gun accidentally goes off and kills his friend. Only in America is the villain in this commercial not guns or bad parenting, but pot.
-- Bill Maher
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Quote of the Day
The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.
-- Thomas Jefferson
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Quote of the Day
We are at the very beginning of time for the human race. It is not unreasonable that we grapple with problems. But there are tens of thousands of years in the future. Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on.
-- Richard P. Feynman
Friday, September 20, 2013
Quote of the Day
I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.
-- Randal Graves
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Quote of the Day
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-- Douglas Adams
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Quote of the Day
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Quote of the Day
The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.
-- John Ciardi
Monday, September 16, 2013
Quote of the Day
When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, bloodsucking monsters, always wanting more, more, more! And if you give it to 'em, you'll get back plenty in return.
-- Homer J. Simpson
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Quote of the Day
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
-- Eros (Plan 9 from Outer Space)
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Quote of the Day
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac
Friday, September 13, 2013
Quote of the Day
Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history, dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive man picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the air, and whomped the club into the sloping forehead of the first primitive umpire.
What inner force drove this first athlete? Your guess is as good as mine. Better, probably, because you haven't had four beers.
-- Dave Barry, "Sports is a Drag"
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Quote of the Day
I'll handle this... the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes... wait a minute. Statue of Liberty... THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
-- Homer J. Simpson
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Quote of the Day
Everywhere you go you'll see them searching,
Everywhere you turn you'll feel the pain,
Everyone is looking for the answer,
Well look again.
-- Moody Blues, "Lost in a Lost World"
Monday, September 09, 2013
Quote of the Day
The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."
-- Dorothy Parker
Sunday, September 08, 2013
Quote of the Day
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry
Saturday, September 07, 2013
Friday, September 06, 2013
Quote of the Day
I've recently noticed "as if for the first time" that when people pray they always look "upward" -- i.e. perpendicular to whatever place they're standing -- or kneeling or groveling. I deduce that they conceive of their "god" as topologically isomorphic to a huge donut, about a thousand miles wider than Earth.
-- Robert Anton Wilson
Thursday, September 05, 2013
Quote of the Day
If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.
-- Ernest Hemingway
Wednesday, September 04, 2013
Quote of the Day
The argument that the literal story of Genesis can qualify as science collapses on three major grounds: the creationists' need to invoke miracles in order to compress the events of the earth's history into the biblical span of a few thousand years; their unwillingness to abandon claims clearly disproved, including the assertion that all fossils are products of Noah's flood; and their reliance upon distortion, misquote, half-quote, and citation out of context to characterize the ideas of their opponents.
-- Stephen Jay Gould ("The Verdict on Creationism", The Skeptical Inquirer, Winter 87/88, pg. 186)
Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Quote of the Day
The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they can level mountains, and nobody doubts them.
-- Joseph Campbell
Monday, September 02, 2013
Quote of the Day
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
-- Mark Twain
Sunday, September 01, 2013
Quote of the Day
Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long home centers were springing up like crabgrass all over the United States.
-- Dave Barry
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