Quote of the Day

The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has the medieval aroma -- like the days when everything used to sound like that.
-- Frank Zappa

Quote of the Day

The mouth can be better engaged than with a cylinder of rank weed.
-- James Joyce

Quote of the Day

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
-- Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day

Justifying space exploration because we get non-stick frying pans is like justifying music because it is good exercise for the violinists right arm.
-- Richard Dawkins

Quote of the Day

True, it returns "" for false, but "" is an even more interesting number than 0.
-- Larry Wall in <199707300650.XAA05515@wall.org>

Quote of the Day

Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved with bending.
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
-- Albert Einstein

Quote of the Day

The Religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Quote of the Day

One of the great attractions of patriotism - it fulfills our worst wishes. In the person of our nation we are able, vicariously, to bully and cheat. Bully and cheat, what's more, with a feeling that we are profoundly virtuous.
-- Aldous Huxley

Quote of the Day

We could jam in Joe's garage,
we didn't have no dope or LSD,
but a coupl'o'quarts o'beer,
would fix it so the intonation,
would not offend your ear.
-- Frank Zappa

Quote of the Day

One trend that bothers me is the glorification of stupidity, that the media is reassuring people it's alright not to know anything. That to me is far more dangerous than a little pornography on the Internet.
-- Carl Sagan

Quote of the Day

If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Yes, I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the seventh grade. I played the part of Mutie the Mailman. They had too many kids, so they made up roles like that. I was good.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

Because you guys are my best friends. And I mean that. Managing you for this last week has been the greatest honor of my life. And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground. And I mean that figuratively, not literally. Because you guys are so, so important to me. I love you guys, but don't cross me, but you're the best.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.
-- Seth MacFarlane

Quote of the Day

I've heard 'em all. "I like you as a friend." "I think we should see other people." "I no speak English." "I'm married to the sea." "I don't want to kill you, but I will ..."
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

A cult is a religion with no political power.
-- Tom Wolfe

Quote of the Day

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla.
-- Mitch Ratcliffe

Quote of the Day

ID badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

A master drummer must have seven eyes.
-- African proverb

Quote of the Day

There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it.
-- Cicero

Quote of the Day

Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well.
-- Siddhartha Gautama

Quote of the Day

If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.
-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)

Quote of the Day

Goddammit! The world is just filling up with more and more idiots! And the computer is giving them access to the world! They're spreading their stupidity! At least they were contained before--now they're on the loose everywhere!
-- Harlan Ellison

Quote of the Day

Work was impossible. The geeks had broken my spirit. They had done too many things wrong. It was never like this for Mencken. He lived like a Prussian gambler -- sweating worse than Bryan on some nights and drunker than Judas on others. It was all a dehumanized nightmare...and these raddled cretins have the gall to complain about my deadlines.
-- Hunter Thompson, "Bad Nerves in Fat City" (Generation of Swine)

Quote of the Day

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

You can't crush ideas by suppressing them. You can only crush them by ignoring them.
-- Ursula K. Le Guin

Quote of the Day

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
-- Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)

Quote of the Day

Music is essentially useless, as life is.
-- George Santayana

Quote of the Day

The greater the difficulty, the greater the glory.
-- Cicero

Quote of the Day

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
-- Jerry Seinfeld