Quote of the Day

Suppose we've chosen the wrong god? Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Calling you stupid is an insult to stupid people!
-- Wanda Gershwitz (A Fish Called Wanda)

Quote of the Day

Hey, don't drink that poison! That's $4.00 an ounce!
-- Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush

Quote of the Day

Isn't pomo really one big cover-up for for the failure of the French to write a truly interesting novel ever since a sports car ate Albert Camus?
-- John Leonard

Quote of the Day

It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Quote of the Day

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

Quote of the Day

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)

Quote of the Day

Criminals are never very amusing. It's because they're failures. Those who make real money aren't counted as criminals. This is a class distinction, not an ethical problem.
-- Orson Welles

Quote of the Day

Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
-- Terry Pratchett

Quote of the Day

Love is a slippery eel that bites like hell.
-- Matt Groening

Quote of the Day

Indoor electric illumination is often referred to as "artificial light." How can it be artificial? The way I look at it is this: If I can read by it, see myself in the mirror, and recognize my friends, it's probably as real as I'm ever going to need it to be.
-- George Carlin

Quote of the Day

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
-- Albert Einstein

Quote of the Day

Marge, please, old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied, so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'what if life *were* fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.
-- Marcus Cole (Babylon 5)

Quote of the Day

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
-- Dave Barry

Quote of the Day

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
-- Emo Philips

Quote of the Day

It's tough to have sex during marriage because you're always walking that tight rope between "this again?" and "where did you learn that?"
-- Emo Philips

Quote of the Day

Pinky, you've left the lens cap of your mind on again.
-- The Brain

Quote of the Day

Well I don't have anything else planned for today, let's get drunk!
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
-- Laurie Anderson

Quote of the Day

If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.
-- George Orwell

Quote of the Day

A little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful software systems have been designed by committees and built as part of multipart projects, those software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are the products of one or a few designing minds, great designers. Consider Unix, APL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them with Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS.
-- Fred Brooks

Quote of the Day

What's in a name? That is what we ask ourselves in childhood when we write the name that we are told is ours.
-- James Joyce

Quote of the Day

If we have learned one thing from the history of invention and discovery, it is that, in the long run - and often in the short one - the most daring prophecies seem laughably conservative.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Quote of the Day

You're not going crazy! You're going sane in a crazy world!
-- The Tick

Quote of the Day

It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us believe there are.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid)

Quote of the Day

I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
-- Charles Montgomery Burns

Quote of the Day

If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.
-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)

Quote of the Day

O! Wanderers in the shadowed land
despair not! For though dark they stand,
all woods there be must end at last,
and see the open sun go past:
the setting sun, the rising sun,
the day's end, or the day begun.
For east or west all woods must fail ...
-- J. R. R. Tolkien

Quote of the Day

Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me! But it'll help.
-- Captain Hazel 'Hank' Murphy