Quote of the Day

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence.
-- David Hume

Quote of the Day

You're not me, therefore you're irrelevent.
-- Dogbert

Quote of the Day

The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.
-- William Gibson

Quote of the Day

Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine. I'll go build my own lunar lander. With blackjack. And hookers. In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack! Ah, screw the whole thing.
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
-- Stephen Wright

Quote of the Day

"Whoopee" was such a beautiful word and then Bob Eubanks had to go and cheapen it.
-- James Urbaniak (via Twitter)

Quote of the Day

In a mad world only the mad are sane.
-- Akira Kurosawa

Quote of the Day

All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.
-- Carl Sagan

Quote of the Day

Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved with bending.
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

I was in the basement, playing my favorite game, 'Murder In The Dark.'
-- Vyvyan Basterd

Quote of the Day

I woke up this morning with a bloody nose. I thought, "how did this get into bed with me?"
-- Emo Philips

Quote of the Day

(Religion) With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion
-- Steven Weinberg

Quote of the Day

The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.
-- George Orwell

Quote of the Day

I'd never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member.
-- Groucho Marx

Quote of the Day

Woke up this mornin' an' I had myself a beer,
Yeah, Ah woke up this mornin' an' I had myself a beer
The future's uncertain and the end is always near.
-- Jim Morrison, "Roadhouse Blues"

Quote of the Day

"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and because good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our entire intellectual heritage -- good teaching -- than a bill forcing honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any general understanding of science as an enterprise?
-- Stephen Jay Gould

Quote of the Day

Damn it, when I'm bombastic, I have my reasons. I want to be bombastic-take it or leave it.
-- Dave Brubeck

Quote of the Day

As great scientists have said and as all children know, it is above all by the imagination that we achieve perception, and compassion, and hope.
-- Ursula K. Le Guin

Quote of the Day

No, forget the glass Woodhouse, just give me the pitcher. For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.
-- Sterling Archer

Quote of the Day

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

Quote of the Day

Care to contribute to the Anti-Mugging-You Fund?
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

I bet it's hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like "Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar."
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money back by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Someday, I want to go to a site that proclaims a miracle and see a real miracle, like a pie miraculously floating above my keyboard, or a MySpace page that doesn't look like technicolor vomit.
-- PZ Myers

Quote of the Day

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

Quote of the Day

It is said that the civilized man seeks out good and intelligent company, so that by learned discourse, he may rise above the savage, and be closer to God. Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me that I'm best.
-- Edmund, Lord Blackadder (Blackadder II)

Quote of the Day

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
-- Jack Handey