Quote of the Day

Science offers us an explanation of how complexity (the difficult) arose out of simplicity (the easy). The hypothesis of God offers no worthwhile explanation for anything, for it simply postulates what we are trying to explain.
-- Richard Dawkins

Quote of the Day

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-- Dave Barry

Quote of the Day

When the least they could do to you was everything, then the most they could do to you suddenly held no terror.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

Quote of the Day

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
-- Groucho Marx

Quote of the Day

Big Bang Theory is FAKE SCIENCE. I'm told Sheldon doesn’t actually have a PhD and his real name is Jim. Bad (or sick) guy!
-- Stephen Colbert (via Twitter)

Quote of the Day

They do say, Mrs Miggins, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are of course wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head.
-- Edmund Blackadder, Esq. (Blackadder the Third)

Quote of the Day

It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.
-- David St. Hubbins

Quote of the Day

No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here's April and Andy's: A hammer, a half eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans.
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

The universe is a strange and wondrous place. The truth is quite odd enough to need no help from pseudoscientific charlatans.
-- Richard Dawkins

Quote of the Day

I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.
-- Stephen Wright

Quote of the Day

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
-- Randal Graves

Quote of the Day

Breakfast food can serve many purposes.
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
-- George Orwell

Quote of the Day

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

A one sentence definition of mythology?
"Mythology" is what we call someone else's religion.
-- Joseph Campbell

Quote of the Day

We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications. Having the source code means that we are not held hostage by anyone's support department.
-- Russell Nelson, President of Crynwr Software

Quote of the Day

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as a friend.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Quote of the Day

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr

Quote of the Day

[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.
-- Terry Pratchett (Monstrous Regiment)

Quote of the Day

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-- Albert Einstein

Quote of the Day

Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

Quote of the Day

If you are in possession of this revolutionary secret of science, why not prove it and be hailed as the new Newton? Of course, we know the answer. You can't do it. You are a fake.
-- Richard Dawkins

Quote of the Day

The forceps of our minds are clumsy forceps, and crush the truth a little in taking hold of it.
-- H.G. Wells

Quote of the Day

Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something.
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

All things dull and ugly, all creatures short and squat;
All things rude and nasty, the Lord God made the lot.
Each little snake that poisons, each little wasp that stings;
He made their brutish venom, He made their horrid wings.
All things sick and cancerous, all evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous, the Lord God made them all.
Each nasty little hornet, each beastly little squid.
Who made the spiky urchin? Who made the shark? He did.
All things scabbed and ulcerous, all pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous, The Lord God made them all. Amen.
-- Monty Python

Quote of the Day

Bad movies have taught us that sheriffs hold on to their belts a lot.
-- Crow T. Robot