Quote of the Day

I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment.
-- Gotama Buddha

Quote of the Day

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
-- Yogi Berra

Quote of the Day

I'd like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

And scandal rocks the nation. The new iPads are out and I didn't get a free one, or did I?
-- Stephen Colbert

Quote of the Day

In the old days villains had moustaches and kicked the dog. Audiences are smarter today. They don't want their villain to be thrown at them with green limelight on his face. They want an ordinary human being with failings.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

Quote of the Day

Leslie has a lot of qualities I find horrifying, but the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be.
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

You can observe a lot just by watching.
-- Yogi Berra

Quote of the Day

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait... wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

The flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program documentation.
-- Frederick Brooks, (The Mythical Man-Month)

Quote of the Day

Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
-- Robert Orben

Quote of the Day

People who think of videos as an art form are probably the same people who think Cabbage Patch Dolls are a revolutionary form of soft sculpture.
-- Frank Zappa

Quote of the Day

I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy.
-- Richard P. Feynman

Quote of the Day

Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Let's face it, comedy is a dead art form. Now tragedy, ha ha ha, that's funny!
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

Well I don't have anything else planned for today, let's get drunk!
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

You can cite a hundred references to show that the biblical God is a bloodthirsty tyrant, but if they can dig up two or three verses that say "God is love," they will claim that *you* are taking things out of context!
-- Dan Barker (Losing Faith in Faith)

Quote of the Day

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
-- Groucho Marx

Quote of the Day

I won't say anything because no one ever listens to me anyway. I might as well be a Leonard Cohen record.
-- Neil Pye

Quote of the Day

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)

Quote of the Day

The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future.
-- Criswell (Plan 9 from Outer Space)

Quote of the Day

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
-- Voltaire

Quote of the Day

I love treason but hate a traitor.
-- Gaius Julius Caesar

Quote of the Day

All right, who did this? I'm not mad, I just want to know who did it so I can punish them.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

I think it is not helpful to apply Darwinian language too widely. Conquest of nation by nation is too distant for Darwinian explanations to be helpful.
-- Richard Dawkins

Quote of the Day

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Quote of the Day

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
-- David Letterman

Quote of the Day

Booze makes you popular and heals all wounds!
-- Tom Servo

Quote of the Day

A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence.
-- David Hume