Quote of the Day

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

Blow ye winds, like the trumpet blows, but without that noise.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Science is facts; just as houses are made of stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house and a collection of facts is not necessarily science.
-- Henri Poincare

Quote of the Day

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

When the music changes, so does the dance.
-- African proverb

Quote of the Day

All I wanted was to make the world a better place... and to make an assload of money.
-- Jodene Sparks

Quote of the Day

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense and to the same extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H.L. Mencken

Quote of the Day

I have examined all the known superstitions of the world, and I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.
-- Thomas Jefferson

Quote of the Day

I've recently noticed "as if for the first time" that when people pray they always look "upward" -- i.e. perpendicular to whatever place they're standing -- or kneeling or groveling. I deduce that they conceive of their "god" as topologically isomorphic to a huge donut, about a thousand miles wider than Earth.
-- Robert Anton Wilson

Quote of the Day

So, a graduate student, huh? How come you guys can go to the moon but you can't make my shoes smell good?
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

... C++ offers even more flexible control over the visibility of member objects and member functions. Specifically, members may be placed in the public, private, or protected parts of a class. Members declared in the public parts are visible to all clients; members declared in the private parts are fully encapsulated; and members declared in the protected parts are visible only to the class itself and its subclasses. C++ also supports the notion of *friends*: cooperative classes that are permitted to see each other's private parts.
-- Grady Booch, "Object Oriented Design with Applications"

Quote of the Day

My full name is Bender Bending Rodriguez.
-- Bender Unit 22

Quote of the Day

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-- Rita Rudner

Quote of the Day

I tell ya, I knew my morning wasn't going right. When I put on my shirt the button fell off, when I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off, I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Quote of the Day

... the Mayo Clinic, named after its founder, Dr. Ted Clinic ...
-- Dave Barry

Quote of the Day

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

There is only one bad word: taxes.
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Barry, there is no hell. There is only France.
-- Frank Zappa, "You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore"

Quote of the Day

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Quote of the Day

Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

The sermon was based on what he claimed was a well-known fact, that there were no Atheists in foxholes. I asked Jack what he thought of the sermon afterwards, and he said, "There's a Chaplain who never visited the front."
-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Quote of the Day

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
-- Dave Barry

Quote of the Day

Strippers do nothing for me... but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon

Quote of the Day

To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.
-- The Sphinx

Quote of the Day

If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
-- Isaac Asimov

Quote of the Day

Tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when I walk into an open sewer and die.
-- Mel Brooks

Quote of the Day

If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.
-- John Stuart Mill

Quote of the Day

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham