Quote of the Day

A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on.
-- William S. Burroughs

Quote of the Day

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin

Quote of the Day

Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

They do say, Mrs Miggins, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are of course wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head.
-- Edmund Blackadder, Esq. (Blackadder the Third)

Quote of the Day

Ah ha-ha, chess! The ancient contest of wits! Two opponenets: mano a mano. Braino a braino. And look! Magnets for ease of travel! You could play chess on the moon!
-- The Tick

Quote of the Day

I have to admit I have a monkey on my back. It represents my crippling addiction to monkeys.
-- Stephen Colbert

Quote of the Day

If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.
-- I. F. Stone

Quote of the Day

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.
-- George Carlin

Quote of the Day

Work was impossible. The geeks had broken my spirit. They had done too many things wrong. It was never like this for Mencken. He lived like a Prussian gambler -- sweating worse than Bryan on some nights and drunker than Judas on others. It was all a dehumanized nightmare...and these raddled cretins have the gall to complain about my deadlines.
-- Hunter Thompson, "Bad Nerves in Fat City" (Generation of Swine)

Quote of the Day

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran, killed 20 men, then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III