Q -- Is there life after death?
A -- Definitely. I speak from personal experience here. On New Year's Eve, 1970, I drank a full pitcher of a drink called "Black Russian", then crawled out on the lawn and died within a matter of minutes, which was fine with me because I had come to realize that if I had lived I would have spent the rest of my life in the grip of the most excruciatingly painful headache. Thanks to the miracle of modern orange juice, I was brought back to life several days later, but in the interim I was definitely dead. I guess my main impression of the afterlife is that it isn't so bad as long as you keep the television turned down and don't try to eat any solid foods.
-- Dave Barry
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Quote of the Day
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Quote of the Day
The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos.
-- Stephen Jay Gould
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Quote of the Day
The nanny state is always sticking its nose into our business, from baby seats to motorcycle helmets, yet when I let my baby drive my Harley in a baby seat with a helmet, they call child services.
-- Stephen Colbert
Monday, June 06, 2011
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Quote of the Day
I'm about to write you a reality check! Or would you prefer the cold, hard cash of truth?
-- The Tick
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Quote of the Day
If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.
-- Ernest Hemingway
Friday, June 03, 2011
Quote of the Day
Recently, I've been working with the Salvation Navy. Good outfit, but it's hard to get people to join. Not many people want to sit in a rowboat with a bass drum in their lap.
-- George Carlin
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Quote of the Day
Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards.
-- H. L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan, counsel for the supporters of Tennessee's anti-evolution law at the Scopes "Monkey Trial" in 1925.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Quote of the Day
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Orson Welles
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