Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling hes story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Quote of the Day
Monday, June 23, 2014
Quote of the Day
The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.
-- William Gibson
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Quote of the Day
Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
-- Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes)
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Quote of the Day
Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?
-- Dave Barry
Friday, June 20, 2014
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Quote of the Day
It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
-- Mark Twain
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Quote of the Day
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra, which suddenly flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening (Love is Hell)
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Quote of the Day
When the least they could do to you was everything, then the most they could do to you suddenly held no terror.
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
Monday, June 16, 2014
Quote of the Day
A moral choice in its basic terms appears to be a choice that favors survival: a choice made in favor of life.
-- Ursula K. Le Guin
Sunday, June 15, 2014
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