Quote of the Day

I want to share something with you -- the three little sentences that will get you through life. Number one, "Cover for me." Number two, "Oh, good idea, boss." Number three, "It was like that when I got here."
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.
-- Mort Sahl

Quote of the Day

There was no difference between the behavior of a god and the operations of pure chance...
-- Thomas Pynchon (Gravity's Rainbow)

Quote of the Day

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-- Mark Twain

Quote of the Day

And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space 'cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.
-- Eric Idle

Quote of the Day

If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled.
-- Harlan Ellison

Quote of the Day

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the lightbulb.
-- Homer J. Simpson