Quote of the Day

America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other "cultures," use an atlas or a ham radio.
-- Ron Swanson

Quote of the Day

When it comes to humility, I'm the greatest.
-- Bullwinkle Moose

Quote of the Day

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.
-- Orson Welles

Quote of the Day

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense and to the same extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H.L. Mencken

Quote of the Day

Now we sit through Shakespeare in order to recognize the quotations.
-- Orson Welles

Quote of the Day

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
-- Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Quote of the Day

Ah, the college roadtrip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem?
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
-- Dave Barry