Quote of the Day

Trying is the first step toward failure.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

A thousand years frozen in carbonite? It'll be so cold!
-- Derek 'Stormy' Waters

Quote of the Day

All theoretical chemistry is really physics; and all theoretical chemists know it.
-- Richard P. Feynman

Quote of the Day

Mmmm, 52 slices of American cheese.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation.
-- Bertrand Russell

Quote of the Day

The Internet is the most powerful stupidity amplifier ever invented. It's like television without the television part.
-- James "Kibo" Perry

Quote of the Day

Have you ever wondered what makes Californians so calm? Besides drugs, I mean. The answer is hot tubs. A hot tub is a redwood container filled with water that you sit in naked with members of the opposite sex, none of whom is necessarily your spouse. After a few hours in their hot tubs, Californians don't give a damn about earthquakes or mass murderers. They don't give a damn about anything , which is why they are able to produce Laverne and Shirley week after week.
-- Dave Barry (The Taming of the Screw)

Quote of the Day

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd whimper and tug at their sleeves, and they'd always waste precious minutes saying things: "Do you think something's wrong? Do you think she wants us to follow her? What is it, girl?", etc., as if this had never happened before, instead of every week. What with all the time these people spent pinned under the tractor, I don't see how they managed to grow any crops whatsoever. They probably got by on federal crop supports, which Lassie filed the applications for.
-- Dave Barry

Quote of the Day

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!
-- Harlan Ellison

Quote of the Day

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
-- Bjarne Stroustrup