Quote of the Day

In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all; it's fear.
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
-- Albert Einstein

Quote of the Day

The forceps of our minds are clumsy forceps, and crush the truth a little in taking hold of it.
-- H.G. Wells

Quote of the Day

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
-- Johnny Carson

Quote of the Day

ID badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
-- Dwight Kurt Schrute III

Quote of the Day

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin, and the bassist is the late Barry Oakley of the Allman Brothers. So Stevie Ray's thinking, "Oh, wow! I've died and gone to rock and roll heaven." Just then, Karen Carpenter walks in, sits down at the drums, and says: "'Close to You'. Hit it, boys!"
-- Told by Penn Jillette, of magic/comedy duo Penn and Teller

Quote of the Day

Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me! But it'll help.
-- Captain Hazel 'Hank' Murphy

Quote of the Day

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.
-- H.G. Wells

Quote of the Day

He who hasn't hacked assembly language as a youth has no heart. He who does as an adult has no brain.
-- John Moore

Quote of the Day

A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.
-- Jack Handey