Quote of the Day

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
-- Hubert H. Humphrey

Quote of the Day

You see, boy? The real money's in bootlegging! Not in your childish vandalism.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

Meetings are an addictive, highly self indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only becuase they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry

Quote of the Day

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
-- Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day

The future ain't what it used to be.
-- Yogi Berra

Quote of the Day

I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Way to go Sparks, you broke the monitor and you're dead. Happy?
-- Captain Hazel 'Hank' Murphy

Quote of the Day

Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me! But it'll help.
-- Captain Hazel 'Hank' Murphy

Quote of the Day

I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

As great scientists have said and as all children know, it is above all by the imagination that we achieve perception, and compassion, and hope.
-- Ursula K. Le Guin